“Fauxboules” is a story that has been taking shape since 2014. Being the father of teenaged daughters brought it into being but its origins go back much further. At the Kansas City Art Institute, I studied the history of European film and American film. I began to form the idea that if Michelangelo were alive today, he would probably be Steven Spielberg and not necessarily a painter of pictures. That idea has stayed with me all these years.
Camille Paglia’s “Sexual Personae” was published in 1991, the year I graduated from KCAI, and it became my constant companion during the years I was living in France. Paglia describes the cinematic eye that is incorporated into Homers epic poems. The overarching line that she draws from ancient Egypt to contemporary Hollywood reinforced my ideas about painting giving birth to photography and photography giving birth to cinema, television, YouTube and other visual technologies. The first time I stood in the grand gallery of the Louvre amid Rubens 21-piece series depicting the life of Marie de Medici, I understood this connection in the most tangible way. Art history books cannot convey what it is like to be surrounded by these movie-screen sized images as someone translates for you the story described below. Telling stories and utilizing paintings as prompts and conversation pieces are useful tools for transmitting ideas and building relationships. My interactions with the Marie the Medici cycle over a span of 28 years as both audience and guide suggest how a Homeric bard might have told stories in ancient Greece.
Painting struggled tremendously to liberate itself from literature. In many ways the idea of art for art’s sake could be interpreted as image making for its own sake as opposed to image making at the service of a story. However, I think that image making can link itself to a story without being a specific illustration. In the history of western painting, the work of Piero Della Francesca or a 20th century painter like Balthus, who developed images from Emily Brontë’s “Wuthering Heights”, demonstrate this relationship. In the other direction, we tend to attach stories to the most abstract images. These can come from the life story of the artist or the origin story of the work or from our own lives, and the stories become paramount to the audience’s engagement with the art object.
I have always enjoyed watching people engage with a didactic label or museum tag. They give the audience a point of entry into the work and this creates an amount of comfort, much like a great hostess welcoming you. Additionally, the written word is incredibly powerful and provides a common language for understanding, whileimages can be interpreted in many different ways. The didactic label gives the viewer a steady footing along which to proceed. The casual museum goer often reads the label from start to finish and then only glances at the art work.
Audiences seem to engage most readily with works of visual art that have a compelling story to tell whether about the artist’s life or unique perspective. We can also see literary influences in the manifestation of the artist ‘s thesis. Story helps us hold onto ideas and transmit them to others. Storytelling is fundamental to every civilization on earth, as is making art, music, shelter and cooking. Combining two or more of these art forms makes an experience even more memorable. Think about a food you really enjoy, where you were and who you were with when you first discovered it. Your internal story is built into your enjoyment of that food. The medium of film at times employs all five of these fundamental creative acts. I am interested in giving the audience a story linked together with a series of images which allow us to explore topics that are otherwise difficult to discuss.
Film, television, Netflix, YouTube - these are such powerful art forms because they combine so many other art forms. Think about the role painting played in a society before the invention of photography. Hundreds of thousands of people visited the grand Parisian salon exhibitions which were the equivalent of movie premieres today. Moreover, there are particular aspects of the static forms of art - painting, drawing and sculpture - that do something film cannot do. In the French film “Of Gods and Men”, there is a critical scene where the camera slowly pans around the dinner table, resting on the face of each monk as he deliberated. The decision to leave or to stay in Afghanistan to operate a clinic possibly a life or death consequence. The camera moved from face to face yet as a viewer you could not compare and contrast their faces at the same time. This dilemma demonstrates another understanding: painting, sculpture, and drawing give us objects of contemplation. We experience an art object at our own time and pace, while the very nature of film marches on at an established speed whether breakneck action or slow like molasses. I wonder if the latter pace, so notable in French filmmaking, is an underlying legacy of historic European painting?
Thinking about the inherent strength of static image making, I have wanted to tease out images from stories that lend themselves to a moment at rest. A pose or gesture that can be interesting primarily for the shape that it makes more than the action it conveys. For years I have intentionally tried to stay away from subjects that film does better than a static art form could ever achieve, such as movement or action or the passage of time. I think painting and sculpture are more suited to the making of icons, something film rarely attempts. There are many examples of filmmakers whose images are as composed as any Dutch master but I’m unaware of film makers using stasis or motionlessness as an essential part of their storytelling. In the “Fauxboules” project, I want viewers to spend as much time as they like staring into the faces of these characters, something we rarely get to do in life.
There were many times where I considered rewriting the “Fauxboules” story in prose format so that it would be more familiar to the reader. However, there’s something about the screenplay that speaks to me on a deeper level. The screen play is a strange literary form which has specific rules for formatting and structure. Screenplays are mostly conversations between characters. Rarely is much time spent describing the details of a scene or the clothes the characters are wearing. Filmmaking is an enormous collaborative process bringing together a collection of creative people, each contributing to the unified whole.
Screen plays give readers the full spectrum for their imaginations. Reading a screenplay invites you to imagine the characters’ voices, their accents, what they might look like. You might know the general setting of any scene but rarely would you read a description of it. That final form emerges only as the director, set designers and others determine the final form. Only when the cameras have been rolled into place, would you have a visual reality.
As influential as Paglia on my thinking were the plays of Shakespeare. I not only loved the dialogue but also the way the language was presented on the page. Somehow conversations simply feel different as lines in a play than they do in prose. The playwright allows conversations to flow without intervening descriptions. At the same time, conversation contains the inherent potential for conflict. Even the most benign are trying to transmit information from one consciousness to the other. The very nature of saying something and then looking for recognition that the message was both received and understood creates an interesting and dynamic tension. I hope the screen play format will allow the viewer to interact with these works in a way that might be both different from the didactic museum label but also significantly different than the reading of prose fiction.
Much of my agricultural knowledge comes from growing up raising cattle. Livestock and animal husbandry have been a major influence on how I see the world. Fauxboules are an imaginary product. I have always found the idea of this product to be incredibly funny and it’s been lingering around in the back of my mind for years.
Once I called a friend who was working cattle by himself, so I said I’d call him back. He immediately responded that it was not a problem because he was vaccinating the cows with ballistic medicine. He was shooting them with dissolvable bullets filled with medication fired out of a high-pressure air rifle. It was much less stressful on the cowherd than being gathered up and pushed into a squeeze chute. Nonetheless I have never been able to get this image of a man firing a gun at his cows out of my head.
There’s also the story I heard during my teenage years of the out-of-control scion to a Texas fortune, who ended up lobotomized and castrated. In researching that story 35 years later, I learned that he had been suffering from schizophrenia and in the 1920s a lobotomy was often the prescribed treatment. And then there is the movie “Farinelli”, the story of the last castrati.
I started work on this story in 2014 by imagining a strong independent woman taking the law into her own hands when her daughter had been mistreated. I believe I wrote the story as a kind of father’s response to the bluster and bravado one hears from the fathers of teenage daughters describing what they imagine themselves doing to intimidate their daughters’ boyfriends. This is a dark tragic, comedy, drama, maybe even a cautionary tale about “no means no”.
You might find this exhibit, both paintings and story, disturbing. If you would just as soon not see this, I will not be hurt of you block me from your Facebook feed. There are only two or three nudes in the 34 images and there’s nothing that should be shocking to the average museum goer.
The other thing I would like to say about the background of this work is my long-time interest in honor culture as described in Colin Woodard book “American Nations”. An example of this culture from my family relates to my grandfather Griffin. In his 60s, he encountered a tall young man in his 20s walking through his pasture gathering up pecans. Grandpa told the man to get off his land. The young man said to take it easy, old man. At that point, my grandfather, who weighed 145 pounds, hit the guy so hard he broke the man’s jaw as well as two bones in his own hand. I heard stories like this my entire childhood. Honor culture is aggressively protective,
“Fauxboules” is a story aiming to explore ideas involving the unintended consequences of winning at all cost, miscommunication, vengeance, retribution, as well as sexual role reversal, and sexual violence. It is intended to be a cautionary tale and it is also intended to be a tragic comedy. A story that is outrageous often provides an abstract beginning point for discussion of difficult subjects.
With that said, I offer you “Fauxboules”. If you choose to follow along, I ask for your patience and open mindedness. I hope that you understand that it was put together with the best of intentions.
Enjoy.
Fauxboules
A Screen play by Richard McKown with help from Olivia McKown
Act 1
EXT. A LONG STRAIGHT GRAVEL ROAD
A pickup truck eases along kicking up a small trail of dust. We look out the front windshield, dust is on the dashboard, the truck is driving slowly. From behind the truck, pulling back seeing we see the enormous fields spread out on either side.Driver's point of view, looking out the left side of the pick-up we are looking at black cattle against the bright green field of winter wheat. The truck turns into a driveway, a man gets out, swings the gate open wide and the pickup pulls through.
We see the woman from the passenger's point of view. She's beautiful, probably close to 40 years old. It's hot, the windows are down, she's wearing a tank top her arms are strong and tanned her hair is pulled back in a ponytail and she's wearing a faded green baseball cap. She drives even more slowly through the field, looking at cows. The cows look back at her. The camera shows different angles of her turning the steering wheel, weaving back-and-forth through the herd of cows.We see the cows in a bright green field, mostly from her point of view, but occasionally we see the passenger’s point of view also. She is counting; all the cows have babies, and the babies look fine. She spots a cow off in the distance that’s by herself. The cow’s head is hanging down, its ears are droopy, and itstongue is slightly hanging out. She turns the truck broadside to this cow and takes the truck out of gear and steps on the parking break. We watch her arms and legs moving as she does all this from the point of view of the passenger. She is strong and feminine; yet has a complete lack of concern with how she looks.
Without turning around, she reaches back over her head and takes a rifle out of the gun rack in the back window of the truck, lifting it high in order to not hit her passenger in the head.
The glare and dust on the window have prevented us noticing the gun until now.
She reaches over to a cooler that has a Budweiser logo on the side and takes out a bottle of pink medicine and shakes it in her left hand. With her right hand she opens up a box and takes a new syringe out of a sterile package. She sets the bottle on the dash and reaches in for a needle and attaches it to the syringe. She deftly draws out a full dose of the pink liquid. She then pulls out of the toolbox a dart that has a large 1-inch long needle. Carefully she slides the smaller needle into the larger one attached to the dart. Holding the dart upright she plunges the medication in.
Reaching back into the toolbox again, out comes a jar of Vaseline. She takes out a dab on her finger and runs it across the tip of the needle to seal in the liquid. She loads the dart into the gun.
She leans out the window aims the rifle at the cow’s neck and fires.
The cow jumps as though stung by a bee.
She is still looking out the window examining the cow.
She pulls the gun back in, looks over her shoulder at the gun rack and carefully places the rifle back in the window.
She looks at her passenger for the first time. The passenger is a handsome man about her age, a quiet cowboy, wearing a blue baseball cap and a faded orange polo shirt.
DR. BRIANA CUTLER, 38-year-old veterinarian, single mother of CLEO, rancher, kind of the girlfriend of the passenger.
DR. BRIANA
I hope I caught whatever she has before her bag dries up. I like that heifer she's nursing. Sure don’t need her to turn out scrawny.
Her passenger nods in agreement
She has packed everything back up while she was talking then she puts the truck in gear.
The cow takes a few steps when the truck moves, slings her head a few times and the dart falls to the ground.
DR. BRIANA takes the truck out of gear again, steps out and walks over to pick up the dart.
The cow moves away as she approaches.
She crouches down and looks at the crap on the grass next to the dart.
It’s not solid.
We watch her walk back to the truck and get in.
She puts the truck back in gear again and continues to drive through the cow pasture.
EXT.
We see the pick-up moving quickly now, down a long paved road pulling into the edge of a small town. We're behind the truck and see it turn into a small veterinary clinic, the kind that works on both large and small animals and has corrals for cattle and horses beside the building. She gets out and goes into the back door, her passenger gets out and gets into another pick-up truck
INT. WAITING ROOM OF THE VETERINARIAN’S OFFICE,
A woman and her daughter are there with a cat talking to the receptionist.
JILL WOODS, the receptionist, 40 ish, funny, flirtatious.
JILL
I just saw Dr. Briana pull up, y'all can come on back and we’ll get started.
INT. SMALL EXAM ROOM
A Woman, “LISA”, her daughter and the receptionist are all standing around the cat and visiting. The door opens and in walks the woman we have been watching shoot the cows wearing a white lab coat.
DR. BRIANA
Hey Lisa, how y'all been doing? Does Molly here seem to be having some trouble?
LISA
Yes, she's got something wrong with her skin, might have picked it up from the dog we just rescued. We’ve only had it 2 weeks and they already sleep together. She's been itching this spot raw under her chin.
DR. BRIANA looks down at the little girl; the little girl makes big eyes
DR. BRIANA looks at JILL.
DR. BRIANA
Damn Dogs. Let’s take her temperature. Can you bring me a Cortisone compound?
INT. WEIGHT ROOM
Two coaching types walking through
FRED JARVIS, late 40 ish, divorced, short stocky, high energy, very successful hog farmer, football booster, whose sons graduated a few years earlier and moved away.
FRED
I knew this guy who was training to be Mr. Iowa he told me about eating eight egg white omelets as he drove to work every day. He said his wife would make them and stack them up with paper plates in between and he would roll them up like tortillas and eat them while he drove.
COACH JULES, early 40s, great coach, thinker, reader, student of the game, players love him, could probably coach at the next level, but he didn’t play college ball himself.
COACH JULES
Whoa I couldn't do that. I’d hurl.
FRED
This guy was so big, 280 no fat. He was amazing.
COACH JULES
Did he win?
FRED
I think he was first runner-up, not sure. We should start feedin’ our boys breakfast. I’ve got pigs running out my ears. Let’s cook ‘em bacon and eggs, have ‘em come to school half an hour early, build a real sense of camaraderie. We’ll get Shane to give us the eggs and pancake mix; all we’ll have to do is put up a banner for his store in the end zone. I’ll provide the bacon and sausage and do all the cooking. We’ll have a griddle and make pancakes and ham steaks. These bad boys will get big in no time.
COACH JULES
Let me check with David - see if there's any restriction from the administration. These guys are so close to winning, every little bit we can do to bring ‘em together will really make a difference.
INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE
DAVID the principal and COACH JULES
DAVID ANDERSON, 50 ish, High school principal devoted to athletics.
DAVID
Hell yeah, there's no rule against that. I'll come down there and cook with you boys. This is going to be the year. That's a fine idea, tell Fred I said thanks. Excellent, hell yeah, that’s a damn good idea.
INT. HOG BARN,
FRED is working with some pigs, talking with his feedlot manager
FRED
Can you ask Dr. Steve to increase the order of that Trendblond and Melonjester? I'm going to loan some to a couple 4-H kids who need to do a better job growing out their show pigs.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
Three teenage girls come bursting in through the front door giggling and laughing.
CLEO CUTLER, High school junior, small, energetic, lightning fast wit, first in her class, plans to become a medical doctor, daughter of DR. BRIANA.
CLEO
Did you see the look on his face?
The tallest one makes a face with big eyes and flared nostrils. They all start laughing again.
CLEO
I was like…
She sticks one arm straight up and one arm straight out, shakes them like she has pom-poms in her hands Then she turns around spreading her arms out wide, the back of her right hand is right under the nose of the tallest girl, who makes the face again
They all three laugh.
We see Dr. BRIANA's reaction, she smiles at the teenage girls.
DR. BRIANA
You girls hungry?
The girls all respond with an enthusiastic yes as they walk over and sit down at the kitchen counter.
DR. BRIANA
What time y'all supposed to be at the game?
CLEO
By 7:30; Marshall wants us to run through the routine again.
VALERIE WAGNER, High school junior, CLEO’S best friend, flirtatious, smart, has a dark side, wants what she wants and gets it.
VALERIE
I'm so sick of that routine. Thank god there are only two more games.
OTHER CHEERLEADER
What about the playoffs?
VALERIE
Ugh, I know this is bad, but I’m hoping we don’t make it to the playoffs.
DR. BRIANA
She speaks quietly, reminiscing on her high school days.
It will all be over before you know it girls.
EXT. NIGHT, PARTY, BACK PATIO OF A NICE HOUSE AROUND A SWIMMING POOL.
We see two big guys wearing football jerseys each one has a cheerleader on his arm, It's VALERIE and CLEO. They walk up to another group wearing jerseys and some older kids dressed in fraternity party shirts
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
What are you guys gonna do next year?
MARCUS RAMSEY, High school senior, VALERIE’S boyfriend, linebacker, D-1 prospect. BOBBY’S best friend.
MARCUS
I don’t know man, I've got Offers from Iowa State, KU, and Missouri State.
BOBBY CALLAHAN, High school senior, CLEO’S boyfriend, linebacker, D-1 prospect, MARCUS best friend.
BOBBY
I've got offers from Missouri State, Indiana University and The University of Iowa.
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
To MARCUS
Come to state, we’d love to have you in the house.
To BOBBY
Which offer you thinkin’ about taking?
BOBBY
I don't know man, they got a really good art program at Indiana.
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
Art program, hell you talking about?
BOBBY
I’m talkin’ about paintin’ naked ladies man.
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
Really, you can go to college for that?
BOBBY
Sure, why not. What the hell you studyin’?
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
Marketing.
BOBBY
Sounds like the same thing to me, only the women are wearing clothes.
The guys laugh.
OLDER FRATERNITY BOY
Yeah you guys think you're having fun now – you ain't seen nothing yet. Why don't y'all come up and spend next Saturday at the house. We'll show you a good time. Make it easier for you to decide which offer to take.
To VALERIE
How about you girls where ya’ll going?
VALERIE
Afraid we ain't goin’ nowhere babe.
CLEO shrugs and makes big eyes at the fraternity boy
MARCUS
They're juniors, they get to spend 12 more months stuck in this place.
The girls flutter their eyes and pout their lips in expression of their sadness.
EXT. DARK CORNER OF THE YARD
MARCUS and VALERIE are making out arms wrapped around each other
MARCUS
Let's get out of here.
VALERIE
Because I enjoyed that so much last weekend?
MARCUS
You didn’t have fun last week end?
VALERIE
Nothing I couldn’t have done better myself.
MARCUS looks at her in disbelief
Okay how about this. If you guys make it to state, then maybe after the game.
MARCUS
On the bus ride home?
VALERIE
Maybe.
INT. INSIDE THE HOUSE IN THE KITCHEN
BOBBY and CLEO are alone looking out the windows. Everyone else is in the backyard. BOBBY Is standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.
BOBBY
Let's get out of here and go somewhere we can be alone.
CLEO
Oh come on, that’s just code for let’s go somewhere you can try and get me in trouble.
BOBBY
Sounds good to me.
CLEO
Listen dork, nothing good is going to come out of that. We are just going to end up in a fight
BOBBY
We don’t have to fight, we could just go half way.
CLEO
It’s not like we don’t get turned on too. We’re just as full of hormones as you jackasses.
BOBBY
What are you talking about?
CLEO
Look at all the girls around here that end up with kids and never go to college.
BOBBY
That’s not true
CLEO
I'm not doing it, I'm going to medical school and I have no Intention of screwing that up.
BOBBY
Yeah, but we don't have to go all the way.
CLEO
I don’t think you understand. I told you, nothing good is going to come out of this.
BOBBY
Nothing ever comes out of this.
CLEO
You laugh but let me tell you, somebody's gettin’ pregnant here tonight. You watch.
BOBBY
Who can we watch?
CLEO looks at him in disbelief
Doesn’t anybody use a condom?
CLEO
Yeah, the ones they've been carrying around in their wallets since the 8th grade
BOBBY
Well why can't you and I be smart about it?
CLEO
I don't want to be smart about it. Once these things get started there's no stoppin’. You look up and you think “Oh well, maybe this one time, its late, the stores are closed. I'll just pull out.” blah blah blah. No, No means No.
ALTERNATE CLEO
I don’t want to be smart about it. I told you no means no
INT.SCHOOL
Enter MARCUS and BOBBY
MARCUS
If we go to state Valerie said she’d give it up.
BOBBY
Finally.
BOBBY bro-hugs MARCUS, congratulating him
What’s with these girls?
MARCUS
Don’t worry about Cleo. They’re best friends. Surely if Valerie does Cleo will?
BOBBY
I don’t know, all Cleo ever talks about is getting pregnant.
MARCUS
Who gets pregnant? Use a condom, what’s the big deal?
BOBBY
I know man. I just, I don’t know, she's such a prude. I can’t figure out why she wants a boyfriend anyway.
MARCUS
She’s smokin’ hot dude, but you should get a different girlfriend.
BOBBY
I know, but she's nice. Man do I have blue balls.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM
Football team at a pep rally the Senior Players are about to be introduced. MARCUS is talking to VALERIE who is standing at the end of a line of cheerleaders.
In the background players name are being called out.
As each player is introduced the cheerleaders start shaking their pom-poms.
MARCUS
This is it baby; if we win this game we're going to state.
BOBBY
You better play hard.
MARCUS
A boy could get hurt doing that.
MARCUS’ name is called and he trots out to the center of the basketball court, he waves to the crowd then takes his place in line with the other senior football players
EXT. SEMIFINALS PLAYOFF GAME
The Letona boys are dominant. MARCUS and BOBBY have an extraordinary game. Essentially the two of them hold the opposing offense to three points.
The celebration at the end of the game is tremendous, as the players rowdily make their way onto the bus. MARCUS gathers up five players around VALERIE and they move as a group with her hiding in the middle all the way onto the bus.
COACH JULES makes his way down the center aisle of the bus congratulating every player and slapping each of them on the back.
VALERIE has to crawl underneath the seat in front of MARCUS.
COACH JULES stays and talks to MARCUS and BOBBY more than other players.
COACH JULES
Amazing job out there tonight boys, if you play like that next week we might finally win a championship.
To MARCUS
What were you thinking about son? I have never seen you play like that, was it the scouts? You know they'll be a guy from Kansas State and Missouri at the championship game If you play like that again I think you can go anywhere you want.
MARCUS
I don't know Coach I'm just really focused. I just want to win this thing, I can feel it, taste it, squeeze it. We're almost there.
COACH JULES
That a boy. That's what I'm talking about. Hell yeah, touch it, taste it, squeeze it.
COACH JULES walks back toward the front of the bus pumping his fist and slapping his players on the shoulders repeating his new chant.
EXT. BUS UNLOADING
VALERIE comes bouncing up to coach Marshal after most of the cheerleaders have filed off.
VALERIE
I think I forgot a pair of shoes back there under the seat.
COACH MARSHALL AMY MARSHALL, in her 30s, the cheer coach, very competitive, good looking but, stocky, a little masculine, never married, has a hairstyle from 15 years earlier when she was in high school
COACH MARSHALL
I think you'd forget your own ass, if it weren’t following you around.
VALERIE
I know. It follows me everywhere and you wouldn’t believe how many followers it has.
COACH MARSHALL rolls her eyes
VALERIE catches up with CLEO
VALERIE
Did she notice?
CLEO
No, I answered when she called your name.
VALERIE
Glad that’s over with.
CLEO
That was smart, acting like you forgot your shoes.
VALERIE
No fool! I got it over with.
CLEO
On the bus? On the way back? Are you kidding me?
VALERIE
Yeah almost everyone was asleep.
CLEO
Almost?
VALERIE
Yeah, I think there may have been one or two watching. It was kind of hot.
CLEO
What the hell freak, everybody’s going to be talking about you.
VALERIE
You're the only one they’re talking about.
CLEO
Me? Who's talking about me?
VALERIE
You're the only virgin left in the class, of course people are gonna talk about you.
CLEO
What are they saying?
VALERIE
Well there's a bet.
CLEO
A bet?
VALERIE
Yep, some guys say prom, some guys have tonight, some have taken graduation.
CLEO
You’re kidding!
VALERIE
I wanted to take June 15 but nobody would take my bet.
CLEO
My birthday?
VALERIE
Yeah, everyone thinks I’ll get you drunk and pimp you out just to cash in.
CLEO
I'm starting to think that you would.
VALERIE
Oh come on, sooner or later you got to get it over with.
CLEO
Yeah, well now that you got it over with good luck getting anything else done.
VALERIE
What are you talking about?
CLEO
You watch. All Marcus is going to want to do is hang out in bed.
VALERIE
What's wrong with that?
CLEO
Really?
VALERIE
Sounds like fun to me.
CLEO
You know you’re right. That's probably the thing that we all should be doing. Quit worrying about getting an education, seeing the world, hanging out with our friends; we should probably all just strip down and get in a dog pile.
VALERIE looks off in the distance imagining the scene CLEO just described
Enter DR. BRIANA into the reception area she sees a woman standing outside her front door glowering at Buster, and TOM is holding him back by the leash
DR. BRIANA
Is everything okay out here?
TOM
I'm so sorry I'm afraid Buster has fallen in love with another one of your clients.
DR. BRIANA
Oh, that's Rosa Lee, everyone falls in love with her. Why don't you guys go on back with Jill where we can talk without interruption?
DR. BRIANA opens the door and stretches out a hand to the traumatized Rosa Lee
DR. BRIANA
Come on back in dear, I'm so sorry about that You know they just can't resist a lovely leg No different than men. That's why we call them dogs
DR. BRIANA gets Rosa lee seated.
DR. BRIANA
I'll send Jill rite out to get Mr. Spritzer checked in.
Rosa Lee shakes her head in agreement She can't find anything to say.
INT. EXAM ROOM.
DR. BRIANA
So, Jill tells me that Buster needs new testicles.
TOM
Well kind of. Back in Des Moines there is a vet who offers Fauxboules when you get your pet castrated.
DR. BRIANA
Fauxboules?
TOM
Yes, it's a brand of prosthetic testicles.
DR. BRIANA
Prosthetic testicles? Does Buster walk on his testicles?
TOM
No they’re so he can maintain his natural look. You know a male dog without his testicles is basically a female.
DR. BRIANA
Really?
TOM
Well you know what I mean; he's just not manly anymore. These Fauxboules make a dog think that he's still all male. Only they’re a lot less likely to fall in love with every woman wearing a skirt.
DR. BRIANA
We have never used these before. Wouldn't it be easier to just take him back to Des Moines next time you go for a visit.
TOM
That's what my wife wants to do. But I don't want her to know she's won this argument. I’m going to tell her that I have found a trainer who can get him to stop the drill. All I have to do is drop him off for a few days. I was hoping you could board him until he's all healed up with no sign of the surgery.
DR. BRIANA
You know around here we normally charge $45 for a neutering. This is getting to be pretty complicated. How much do these Fauxboules cost anyway?
TOM
There about $150 a pair. And I am willing to pay whatever you want, if you’ll look after him, until he's ready to come home.
DR. BRIANA
Well let me do some research. I think I need to practice a bit before I would want to take on Buster’s case. Are you sure you wouldn't just rather make a secret trip to Des Moines?
TOM
I think this will be easier to pull off without her knowing. She's pretty good friends with my vet's wife.
DR. BRIANA
Would you mind if I got in touch with your old vet to get some pointers on this?
TOM
Not at all but please don't tell him it's for Buster and me.
DR. BRIANA
Understood.
EXT. TRUCK ON THE HIGHWAY
City disappearing in the background
DR. BRIANA is calling the number on the add that TOM has left her
DR. BRIANA
Hi. Yes, this is Dr. Briana Cutler. I have a patient that asked me to order him some Fauxboules. I mean I have a client that asked me to order some Fauxboules for his bulldog who is a new patient of mine.
FAUXBOULE SALES REP., Skinny guy, in his late 40s, high energy, talks fast never stops smiling.
FAUXBOULE SALES REP.
We should make these things for dudes. Guys that can sing like Michael Jackson when they’re young could keep their voice. These could revolutionize the music industry. When I was 12 I could sing like that. I wish I could have got me a pair. I’d be the Bruno Mars of the mid-west. Instead I got 5 kids and work in sales. Any way how can I help you?
DR. BRIANA
I spoke with Dr. Hollis over in Des Moines and he said you had a starter kit you could send over so I could practice on a few cases before I offer this as a regular service.
FAUXBOULE SALES REP.
Yep, we sure do. I’ll send it out FedEx today. These Things are great. When a dog’s lickin’ ‘em they bounce around just like the real thing. If you think about all the money a pet owner spends on chew toys over a dog’s lifetime, these things are the most cost-effective entertainment you can buy for your pet. A dog just won’t lick an empty sack. They sure won’t.
DR. BRIANA
Do you have any for other animals? Like pigs or cattle?
FAUXBOULE SALES REP.
Why would you want that? Pigs can’t bend around and lick ‘em. They can’t even see their own. Who would buy those? We make ‘em for Tomcats. But no bulls’ balls. You could probably use breast implant for that but why would you want to? Who keeps a bull around as a pet? Maybe a rodeo clown I guess. That’s funny to think about Can you just see a clown with a pet bull that has double D balls? Well I’ll send you a dozen pair so you can practice. They come in 4 dog sizes and one cat.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE
She's on the phone with an old friend from college
DR. BRIANA
Brian, I understand what you're saying but I would really like to see this in person. Could I come watch you work tomorrow morning?
INT. SURGICAL THEATER
DR. BRIAN is tying off the last stitch. They walk out and pull their masks down to talk
DR. BRIANA
That was really cool, tedious, but cool.
DR. BRIAN FISHER, undergraduate classmate of DR. BRIANA, he has always hit on her, but she has never let it go anywhere.
DR. BRIAN
Don't you ever have to do a rhinoplasty on a poodle or a boob job on a bovine?
DR. BRIANA
DR. BRIANA laughs
I could just see that if I had your skills. People would be bringing me their show dogs and asking me to turn a Dachshund into a Chihuahua.
DR. BRIAN
That's kind of a nice idea. How would you do it, stretch its legs or shorten his back?
DR. BRIANA
I'm going to lose a night’s sleep thinking about that.
DR. BRIAN
So, what have you got going the rest of the afternoon.
DR. BRIANA
I was planning on heading back and checking on my cows.
DR. BRIAN
I've got a condo right here downtown. if you'd like to come over for a drink before you have to go.
DR. BRIANA
How are Marjorie and the girls?
DR. BRIAN
They’re fine everyone's doing well - you know, everyone's busy.
DR. BRIANA
Well, I think I better head out. I really appreciate you showing me your technique.
DR. BRIAN
You haven't changed a bit. Come back and see me anytime, I have lots of good techniques.
DR. BRIANA
Brian, you don't seem to have changed a bit either.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S VET CLINIC
We see DR. BRIANA closing up the incision on a steer; he now has two tiny testicles totally out of proportion with his body
DR. BRIANA
Jill, I'm going to run out to Fred's place and practice putting these things in a couple a pigs.
JILL
Why?
DR. BRIANA
I'm trying to practice the plastic surgery stitching Brian taught me. It's easier to work on a pig; their skin is more like ours and I'll be able to tell if it scars over correctly.
JILL
And why are you going to all this trouble?
DR. BRIANA
It's really important to Tom that His wife never knows.
JILL
The things that men try to keep from their wives.
DR. BRIANA
This is kind of strange. Who fondles dog’s balls anyway? His wife must be a show dog judge.
JILL
I'm beginning to think Tom fondles old Buster’s balls himself.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
SAM is sitting at the kitchen counter
DR. BRIANA
It's more than this guy just loving his dog. It's like the dog’s balls are some kind of symbol between him and his wife.
SAM RICHARDSON, cowboy, has his own cow heard, DR. BRIANA’S friend, sometimes boyfriend
SAM
Sure, they are. She cut his off years ago and this is just his way of trying to get ‘em back.
DR. BRIANA
I can't make up my mind whether I want to meet the poor woman or not. But I'm this far in and I feel determined to see if I can pull it off. Did I tell you about what the sales rep said?
SAM
Sales rep.?
DR. BRIANA
Yeah, the Fauxboule Sales Rep. He said they bounce around just like natural ones when the dog licks em. Can't you just see me explaining this to my customers? I'll have to give Spanky a pair and teach him to lick ‘em on command. “See here Mr. Canine castrator, look what you could give your dear dog for a mere 450 dollars. Countless hours of licking and chewing enjoyment.” Come down and take a look at these pigs I've been working on.
INT. VET CLINIC LIVESTOCK AREA
There is a pen with four young boar hogs
DR. BRIANA
Can you tell the difference between them?
SAM
Not really, with that little line running down the middle they all look the same. What's that line there for anyway?
DR. BRIANA
Don't you know the story about Prometheus having to cut the human race in half?
SAM
I'm afraid I haven't heard this one.
DR. BRIANA
Well human beings used to have four arms, four legs, and two heads and we were half male and half female, for the most part. So instead of running across the land we rolled end over end. We went pretty fast but the gods decided that we were too powerful and dangerous, so Zeus instructed Prometheus to cut us in half. So, then he smoothed the skin into our belly buttons, and in some areas, you can still see the seam. I think that might be where the line comes from.
SAM
That’s the medical explanation?
DR. BRIANA
Sure. Do men have a seam like that?
SAM
Yes, in fact we do.
DR. BRIANA
She smirks.
I've got to take a look at that, I'm not sure I believe you.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
She comes over and starts to un-tuck SAM’S shirt. They tumble into bed.
She disappears under the sheets more in a mischievous way than in a sexy way.
She comes up with her hand held in the shape of a C. She gets out of the bed in her underwear and walks out of the room when she comes back she is carrying a package of Fauxboules, she places the C shape of her hand over the prosthetic testicle.
DR. BRIANA
Looks like you would be a large.
SAM
That was a little scary. Not to mention a complete turn off.
DR. BRIANA
This is fascinating. I’ve never had to pay such close attention to these things before. I’m usually just slicing them off and tossing ‘em in the can.
SAM
As if I weren’t scared enough.
DR. BRIANA
Oh come on. Let’s use those things for what they were meant for.
And she climbs on top of him
EXT.
BOBBY and CLEO walking
BOBBY
Did you talk to Valerie?
CLEO
I talk to Valerie every day.
BOBBY
Did you talk to her about the bus ride home from the semi-finals?
CLEO
I wasn't on the bus with Valerie on the way home from the semi-finals.
BOBBY
Well, did you talk to her about what happened on the player’s bus?
CLEO
Yes.
BOBBY
And?
CLEO
Did you watch?
BOBBY
Kinda, it was dark I was trying not to, it was impossible not to watch
She looks at him with disgust and turns to head in the other direction
BOBBY
Cleo everyone's making fun of me. I'm the only virgin left in my class.
CLEO
You know what, I think you need a different girlfriend.
BOBBY
I don't want a different girlfriend baby, I’m just tired of being a virgin.
CLEO
Well you are going off to college next year. I'm sure this will all take care of itself.
BOBBY
You don’t want to date next year?
CLEO
Really? How is that supposed to work out? I think I'd rather date some sophomore, somebody I can keep at bay because you’re wearing me out with this crap. You know all Valerie is talking about now is when can she sneak away with Marcus again.
BOBBY
What's wrong with that? We’re young, what other time in our lives are we going to be able to get away with this.
CLEO
You know Bobby it just lasts a few seconds, the whole Sensation, and then it's done. All this pressure, all this buildup just for a few seconds of whatever.
She pauses, thinking of what she wants to say.
You know when it's just you and me and nobody's making fun of either of us, if we do this, it will all change. It will all become about something totally different.
BOBBY
Yeah, I know. You're right. I was just hoping that when Valerie and Marcus, I just hoped you would change your mind.
CLEO
Bobby, don't you understand sexual maturity happens when it happens. My Mom ended up pregnant with me when she was just a little younger than I am and I’m not ready for anything like that. Seriously, I don't know how my mom would have ever made it through veterinary school if her dad hadn't been one.
BOBBY
I didn't realize your grandpa was a veterinarian.
CLEO
Yep, killed by an Angus bull when I was 10. My mom had just started to practice with him. It was terrible she saw the whole thing.
CLEO stops, pondering about what she should say next.
You know, Bobby, I'm going to change my mind all in good time but I know stuff, brain chemical stuff. At this age we aren’t in control of what we feel or what we think and once all that's turned loose - I don't know how I'm supposed to keep it together. I already have so much on my plate with organic chemistry, zoology, biology. It isn't going to be easy and I'm trying not to make it harder by opening a whole new can of hormone worms.
BOBBY
I’m guessing your mom’s been talking to you about this shit since you were like five years old?
CLEO
Disheartened laugh.
Pretty much. I've been watching the boars breed the sows and studs mount the mares since I was ridin‘ backwards in a car seat.
She laughs.
Did you know a pig’s dick is shaped like a corkscrew just like his curly tail? I mean, a male pig will eat the babies just to try and bring the sow back in heat? Everything is just trying to screw everything.
She smiles.
You know we're pretty much just giant hairless gorillas
BOBBY
Thanks. Now next time I see you girls cheering that's exactly what I'm going to see. A bunch of dancing gorilla girls.
CLEO
Don’t you ever read National Geographic? Why do you think the uniform has red underpants?
EXT. CHAMPIONSHIP FOOTBALL GAME
We see the score is close 21 to 17 Letona is ahead.
We watch a play unfold and MARCUS and BOBBY sack the quarterback together
They jump up high-five each other the quarterback is rolling over onto his side, BOBBY reaches down and helps him up, and the quarterback is visibly shaken.
Next play BOBBY breaks through the line comes to the quarterback again who manages to release the ball but BOBBY bats it down BOBBY maneuvers to avoid hitting the quarterback and wrenches his knee in the process
He falls to the ground in the backfield
He's holding his leg straight out stiff and his hands are outstretched grasping the turf. MARCUS rushes over to his side
MARCUS
What happened man. That was an amazing play did you get hit?
BOBBY
No, I just twisted the shit out of it.
MARCUS
Did it pop? Did you hear something pop?
BOBBY
Yeah, I felt something pop. Shit.
MARCUS
Don't move man, just stay there.
By this time coaches and trainers have rushed over from the sidelines, one of them turns around and motions for a stretcher.
We see 4 more kids in khaki pants and blue polo shirts take out across the field; two of them are carrying a long stretcher board.
In a coordinated effort six people lift BOBBY onto the stretcher board and begin to strap him down.
They lift him up, BOBBY waves to the crowd and the crowd burst out in cheers.
They carry him over to the sideline and set him down at the 30 yard line where he has a great view of the game.
From his point of view, we see low across the field. He's never seen the game from this perspective before. He can see the other players legs and arms - they look like
Race Horses, long legs with massive weight on top, their energy ready to burst into motion.
It's third-down; the quarterback drops back to pass. The sophomore that's taken BOBBY’S place rushes in and bounces backward off of the offensive line. MARCUS flies around on the right side but the quarterback sees him coming and rolls left. He's found an open player halfway down the field and connects for a first down.
BOBBY props himself up on the stretcher. The players have advanced to the 30 yard line where he's lying. The cheerleaders rush over and take up a formation between BOBBY and the game. He looks up at a line of eight girls’ red rear ends barely covered by blue cheerleader skirts.
BOBBY
He whispers.
Baboons
The next play unfolds like the last one, their quarterback is working against the weak side. Their players are double teaming MARCUS and the ball moves down the field and the red rear ends of the cheerleaders are following the ball. BOBBY finds himself alone on the sideline not even able to follow the action. The game ends with a final score of 24 to 21
EXT. PARTY AT A HOUSE.
BOBBY and CLEO are talking, BOBBY is moping around CLEO suggest they get out of there
CLEO
You look just like somebody stole your new puppy.
BOBBY
That's exactly how I feel.
CLEO
Come on let's get out of here.
BOBBY
Are you serious? Where do you want to go?
CLEO
I really want to go look at the stars but it's kinda cold for that.
BOBBY
We could go to Miss Frank’s classroom. Wanna see what I've been working on?
CLEO
How are you going to get in there?
BOBBY
I'm her aid. I've got the keys.
They enter and BOBBY turns on the lights
CLEO
Don't you think someone’ll come in here if they see the lights on?
BOBBY
There are no windows in this room. No one will know we’re here.
BOBBY goes over and pulls a couple of large paintings out of a rack. They are both women. In fact, they look like CLEO.
CLEO
These are amazing. When did you do them?
BOBBY
This is what I’ve been working on the past 3 months.
CLEO
Wow, thank you for showing them to me.
BOBBY
At least there’s one thing that’s going good for me. I’m so frustrated by this crap (indicating his leg). I can't believe I'm never gonna play again.
CLEO
You don't know that.
BOBBY
Yes I do. These things never heal and no D-1 coach is going to take a chance on me. I'm damaged goods.
BOBBY begins to tear up and quickly wipes his eyes
CLEO
No you're not. You’re a great artist, and that's what you were going to study anyway.
BOBBY
Yeah well, a football scholarship would have been a whole lot more money than an art scholarship. So now I'm going to get out of college with a mountain of debt and a degree in making paintings that are hard as hell to sell. I was really counting on playing ball and being able to launch my art career based on being a star athlete, just like that one basketball player.
CLEO
Look you're better than that. Your work is going to be Valuable on its own. You don't need some cheap marketing gimmick.
BOBBY
Well, that was my plan, and now I'm screwed. I don't know what I'm supposed to do
CLEO
Look. You're going to rehab your knee. You’re going to get strong. You're going to start college this fall, and then you’re going to walk on next year and get your scholarship back.
BOBBY
You make it sound so easy.
CLEO
I'm sure it's not going to be that easy but you can't just give up. I think you should go to IU. That’s where the best art department is and that's probably where you have the best chance of coming back onto the football team.
BOBBY
Yeah like that's going to happen. I don't think I can get into Indiana as just an art student.
CLEO
Dammit Bobby you're really great. Your portfolio is amazing. You just need to have a little confidence in yourself.
BOBBY
I don't know Cleo I'm just so pissed. Why me? Why not Marcus? Everything's gone right for him and I can't seem to get anything to go right for me.
CLEO
You need to relax. It’ll all be okay.
They have been sitting on the model stand in the middle of the room while they looked at BOBBY’S paintings and talked, BOBBY has shifted and is lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. CLEO leans over and kisses him. She reaches down off the screen and appears to be slipping her hand down his pants.
BOBBY’S eyes widen.
They make out and we see CLEO'S shoulder maneuvering.
CLEO raises up and looks down at BOBBY’S face then she looks down at her hand.
BOBBY
Let me see if I can make you feel that good
CLEO shakes her head slowly from side to side but rolls over onto her back none the less.
We see BOBBY’S shoulders maneuver as he slips down to the bottom of the screen and he comes up with CLEO'S underwear in his hand.
He lays them down beside her. Close up shot he kisses her on the neck and we see his left shoulder maneuver.
CLEO closes her eyes and tilts her head back. BOBBY looks at her face and maneuvers his body on top of hers.
CLEO
Bobby…
BOBBY
Yes?
CLEO
No, I don’t want to do this.
BOBBY
C’mon it’s fine.
At this point it's clear.
We see CLEO’s eyes go wide, then become angry. She pushes on his shoulders. She tries to wrestle out from under him, he holds her tightly but gently pulling her to him. His body relaxes CLEO shoves him off and scrambles out from under him.
CLEO
You asshole! What the hell was that?
BOBBY
Don't be mad, Cleo. I love you.
CLEO
I said no.
BOBBY
You didn't mean it, your body wanted it.
CLEO
That's what the hell I've been talking about. I said no. And that means no. Dammit Bobby what the hell am I supposed to do now?
BOBBY
What are you talking about?
CLEO
I don't get to do that over again. I don't ever get the chance to say yes. You son of a bitch! Do you have any idea what you just took from me?
BOBBY
Cleo, come on I didn't hurt you I didn't force you.
CLEO
Didn't force me? You just, you just put it in and wouldn't let go of me.
Pauses for a moment and then…
You idiot! There's no doubt I'm going to get pregnant from this.
BOBBY
No one gets pregnant on the first time.
CLEO
Lots of people get pregnant on the first time, dumbass. Shit. Now I have to get my mom to take me to get the morning after pill. What am I supposed to tell her? That I just decided to go ahead and give it up?
The look on BOBBY'S face lets us know he realizes DR. BRIANA is going to know what happened.
BOBBY
Cleo, she’ll never forgive me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don't tell her.
CLEO
Then what am I supposed to do?
BOBBY
What if you just waited to tell her, maybe you won't get pregnant.
CLEO
You’re kidding, right? You want me to wait until it's got little arms and legs and a little heart beating? Are you out of your mind? I don't need this, I don't need you. I’ve had it. Get in the truck I’m going home
BOBBY
Cleo, please, I'm sorry. Don't do this, please I need you. Everything is going wrong.
CLEO
Wish you’d thought of that before you decided to climb on me you jackass. What did you think, I was just going to say ‘oh I'm so glad you ravished me? Let’s do it again!’ Did you give this any thought at all?
BOBBY
It just happened Cleo, I didn't plan this.
CLEO
Well you didn’t plan for it not to happen. I trusted you and now I don't anymore. Just get in the truck.
BOBBY hops to his feet and fumbles to button his pants he hops after her.
CLEO puts the truck in gear and steps on the gas before he can even close his door.
She drives very fast and in total silence her jaw clenched tight.
BOBBY looks at her, his face is a picture of regret and sadness.
CLEO pulls up at BOBBY'S house.
CLEO
You can get yourself a ride to come get your truck in the morning because I'm going home.
BOBBY looks at her with a pleading expression.
Again, CLEO puts the truck in gear and pulls forward before he can even shut the door.
He stumbles to get out of the way and falls on his butt.
Her taillights disappear into the night.
INT. DR. BRIANA AND CLEO'S HOUSE
CLEO steps into a relatively dark room lit only by the glow of her mother's bedroom.
CLEO freezes with her back against the door her left hand clutching the doorknob.
DR. BRIANA emerges in the doorway of her room, which is on the other edge of the screen along the same wall
We see the daughter on the left in the darkness and the mother on the right illuminated.
DR. BRIANA steps into the kitchen.
She looks into the darkness for her daughter.
CLEO let's go of the door handle and runs to her mother.
DR. BRIANA
What's a matter kid?
CLEO just sobs and puts her head into her mother's shoulder.
She can't bring herself to say anything.
DR. BRIANA
Are you okay?
CLEO nods
DR. BRIANA
What happened?
CLEO can't answer and pulls herself back to her mother with her head hanging over her mother's shoulder;
We see her face her eyes searching she knows she's going to have to tell her mother something.
DR. BRIANA
Did you and Bobby break up?
CLEO nods.
DR. BRIANA
Why, what happened?
CLEO shakes her head.
DR. BRIANA
Did he hurt you?
DR. BRIANA holds her daughter by the shoulders away from her so she can take a look, she examines her daughters face there doesn't appear to be any sign of trauma
DR. BRIANA
What happened?
CLEO
I need you to take me to get the morning after pill.
DR. BRIANA looks at her daughter her mouth has fallen slightly open
Her eyebrows knit together.
Then she composes herself.
DR. BRIANA
You give the boy your virginity and then he breaks up with you?
CLEO shakes her head no.
DR. BRIANA
He didn't break up with you.
CLEO shakes her head no.
DR. BRIANA
You broke up with him.
CLEO nods.
DR. BRIANA
Why would you do that? Why would you give a boy your virginity and then break up with him?
They stare at each other for a long moment.
CLEO can no longer look her mother in the eye and pulls herself close to her again
We see Dr. BRIANA's face Over CLEO'S shoulder she is furious.
DR. BRIANA
Listen it's okay we'll go see Dr. Clyde first thing in the morning.
CLEO shakes her head no.
CLEO
Can we please go to someone I don't know? Maybe someone in Martinsville.
DR. BRIANA nods her head and pulls her daughter back to her, and strokes her hair. CLEO is sobbing.
Stoically her mother has tears slowly rolling down her face.
INT. SCHOOL
Linda corners DR. BRIANA at a cheerleader parent meeting
LINDA WAGNER, mid 40s, good looking, divorced, bitter, VALERIE'S mom.
LINDA
BRIANA, if we manage to get these girls raised, I think we deserve some fancy colored wings when we get to heaven. How are you doing?
DR. BRIANA
Hang in there, Linda, how about yourself?
LINDA
I've got a whole new crop of gray hair coming in. These first three years of high school have added 10 years to my life. It’s like I'm a cat or somethin’.
DR. BRIANA
That would be 21 years if you were a cat.
LINDA
Well I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but you don't even seem to change. Has Cleo not just put you through it as well?
DR. BRIANA
You know Cleo and I are pretty close. I'm really going to miss her when she goes off to college.
LINDA
Well Valerie and I are pretty close too, but I'll just feel better when she's married and I don't have to worry about these sorry excuses for boys. I don't know where these girls are going to find good men anyway. Even the ones that come to church can't be trusted.
DR. BRIANA
What are you talking about Linda, Marcus seems like a good kid.
LINDA
Well he's not.
DR. BRIANA
Why do you say that?
LINDA
Let's just say he couldn't manage to wait and I’ve had to take Valerie to get a procedure that I, as a Christian woman, can’t even bring myself to say out loud.
DR. BRIANA
Were they not using condoms or some other kind of birth control?
LINDA
My little Valerie had no intention of this ever happening. She wasn’t ready for this.
DR. BRIANA
You Mean Marcus forced her?
LINDA
I don’t know how else this could have happened.
INT. CAR
Driving back into small town
LINDA
Valerie, if that boy ever sets foot in our house again or anywhere near you, I'm calling the police.
VALERIE
Mom just let me handle this.
LINDA
I'm not kidding there's no excuse for his behavior and he should be punished for what he did to you.
VALERIE
I think he's going to have a hard enough time finding another girlfriend when I get finished with him. Please just leave it alone.
LINDA
If it wasn't for the fact that I don't want to put you through any more drama I would call the police right now. But you're my daughter and you've been through enough already.
VALERIE
Thanks mom, I really appreciate your understanding.
VALERIE’S HOUSE
VALERIE is on the phone with MARCUS
VALERIE
Hey this has been fun but, I'm ready to see other people.
MARCUS
What?
VALERIE
I mean you're going off to college anyway. And you’re going off on that trip for spring break with all the other seniors. You should be thanking me really.
MARCUS
What does that have to do with anything? There's no one else on that trip I would even want to be with.
VALERIE
Look my Mom just had to take me to get a problem you caused taken care of, so I'm breaking up with you and that's that.
MARCUS
Are you serious, how did this happen?
VALERIE
Are you an idiot do you not really know?
MARCUS
That's not what I meant, I know exactly how these things happen it's just well, I thought we were being careful.
VALERIE
Are your condoms expired? Have you noticed any of them breaking?
MARCUS reaction on the other end we see that he realizes there might have been a problem.
VALERIE
Was there a problem that you didn’t tell me about?
MARCUS
I don't know, obviously there was.
VALERIE
Well you've gone and gotten me in trouble and now I'm breaking up with you. If you’d told me right when you knew there was a problem it might not have been as big of a deal.
MARCUS
Look I'm sorry I didn't realize. Wouldn't you still have had to ask your mom to get you the morning after pill?
VALERIE
Yes, but this is different you know. Little arms and legs, and a little beating heart. Dammit.
MARCUS
Valerie, I'm so sorry.
VALERIE
You should be.
She hangs up
INT. DR. BRIANA'S HOUSE
SAM walks in
SAM
Hey Briana, how you doing?
DR. BRIANA
Pretty shitty actually.
SAM
What's a matter, what happened?
DR. BRIANA
These goddamn boys that's what happened.
SAM
What boys?
DR. BRIANA
These football-playing assholes that think they’re entitled to whatever they want.
SAM
What’d they do, steal a pig and turn him loose in the school?
DR. BRIANA
I wish that's what they had done. I might’ve thought that was funny.
SAM looks at her and waits for her to go on
DR. BRIANA
Those two bastards Bobby and Marcus just couldn't seem to take no for an answer.
SAM'S face registers the painful disappointment in the males of his species.
DR. BRIANA
And the thing that I'm so frustrated about is nothing is going to happen. No lessons are going to be learned, and nothing's going to change.
SAM
What do you mean?
DR. BRIANA
The girls don’t wanna say anything about it so those boys are going to get off Scot-free while our girls are going to have to live with that pain for the rest of their lives. It’s just not fair.
SAM
Do you know what happened exactly?
DR. BRIANA
I know they were making out and then all of a sudden, these boys get it in their mind that they can just take whatever they want.
BRIANA pauses, takes a sip out of her mug
Sorry bastards.
SAM
I'm so sorry. I wish things like this never happened.
DR. BRIANA
What's frustrating is that it happens all the time and nobody thinks a thing about it.
SAM
I know it doesn't speak well for my gender, but girls should never trust boys.
DR. BRIANA looks at him
DR. BRIANA
I know the girls are going to want to have sex, I just think what makes me so mad is they never seem to have control over the situation.
SAM
I wish I had some answers for you, I'm really sorry.
DR. BRIANA
I wish I had some answers too. I wish there was something on TV or the movies that showed some other way for young women to take charge of her own sexuality. Just some kind of normal, positive image that could give young women the confidence to prevent that situation from ever even happening.
SAM
You're right. The current abstinence talk is a pretty feeble attempt to keep the cork in the bottle.
DR. BRIANA
Too bad none of this helps with the present situation. I don't know what to do about these guys.
SAM
If they were bull calves you'd know exactly how to handle ‘em. I could go talk to their daddies if you thought it would do some good.
DR. BRIANA
No, I just I can't imagine anything good coming out of that given that their daddies were no different. All I ever hear are excuses for men's behavior. I would really like to be able to change things.
The next morning BRIANA is lying in bed thinking.
She gets the idea to give the boys (BOBBY and MARCUS) Fauxboules.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
Three giant bouquets of red roses show up, each one with three dozen flowers. Nine dozen red roses for CLEO. They are all from BOBBY and they all have an apology
CLEO reads the card - I miss you, I love you, I miss talking to you, how can I ever make it up to you? CLEO tosses the card into the wastebasket a couple feet away from her.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
CLEO answers her phone on the other end of the line VALERIE
VALERIE
Hey girl what's up?
CLEO
That idiot just spent an entire month's paycheck at the florist.
VALERIE
That's sweet, maybe you should give him another chance.
CLEO
Nope, I can just hear it now “Come on Cleo you know it's not like we haven't already done it once”. Next boyfriend I get is going to be a sophomore that weighs 110 pounds. That way if he tries anything like that with me I'll launch his ass across the room.
VALERIE
Naked wrestling. Kinda hot.
CLEO
Shut up.
VALERIE
I can just see it. You grab him by the hair on the top of his head and grab it like a handle, whirlin him around like they do in a midget tossing contest.
CLEO
I can always count on you to put an image in my head that’ll take a therapist 10 years to get out.
VALERIE
Just trying to keep you laughing babe. You need me; you're always so damn serious.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
DR. BRIANA walks in and sees all the flowers, thinks they might be from SAM goes over looks at the note
Her eyes narrow.
CLEO walks into the room.
DR. BRIANA
Hey Cle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to read the note. I was kind of hoping these were from...
CLEO
Did you think these were from Sam? Has something changed between you guys that made you think he would send you nine dozen roses?
DR. BRIANA
No, it's just, well they're beautiful. What do you think of them?
CLEO
Don't worry mom, I’m done with guys that think I'm worth nothing more than a giant pile of roses. Besides, think about what red roses symbolize.
DR. BRIANA
You are something baby. I didn't even think about what red roses symbolize.
CLEO
Well you’ve raised me to think about everything.
DR. BRIANA
That I did. I'm very proud of you.
CLEO smiles
DR. BRIANA
Well enough about that. Spring break is coming up and you and I should give some thought to that.
CLEO looks a little panicked
CLEO
Mom, you do remember Valerie and I were going to go skiing with the young leaders group from church?
DR. BRIANA
That's right I forgot. Maybe you and I can go somewhere at the end of the school year?
CLEO
I would love that. Maybe we could go look at schools.
DR. BRIANA
Always so serious.
DR. BRIANA smiles. She is so proud of her daughter.
What are all the other kids doing for spring break?
CLEO
I think the seniors are going to Puerto Vallarta.
DR. BRIANA
Really? My senior class went to Mexico but we didn't go until after graduation. Seems a little early for such a big celebration.
CLEO
I suppose they're all going to graduate but that class is about a shortsighted as a naked mole rat.
DR. BRIANA begins to see a plan unfold in her mind.
DR. BRIANA walks into a closet and pushes her shirts from left to right, one faded color after another, not a single black garment not even anything navy blue.
She then looks through a stack of jeans on her shelf - faded one or two new pair that are dark blue but still nothing black.
She decides she is going to have to go shopping. Clearly this is not something she enjoys to spend her time or money on.
INT. STORE
She tries on some black leggings like everyone seems to be wearing. She reaches down pulls the fabric and snaps it against her thigh. She's not particularly pleased. She feels around where the pockets would be - there's nothing, nowhere to put so much as a credit card.
She then decides to get a couple of yoga mats. I suppose this gives us the idea that she is going tell all of her friends and family that she's taking up yoga thus the tight black clothes. We will probably see her do something different with the yoga mats later in the story.
DR. BRIANA goes in search of a disposable phone. It's a difficult conversation with the sales clerk.
DR. BRIANA
So, this is a prepaid phone
“CLERK”
Yes, did your phone break?
DR. BRIANA
Yes, I just need something for a couple of days while they make the repairs. What happens to the number if someone needs to get in touch with me?
“CLERK”
You can set your phone up to forward to this phone.
DR. BRIANA
Okay but can I set this phone up to forward my phone once my phone is fixed.
“CLERK”
That's not what these are for. You’ll have to keep putting more time on this phone otherwise the number goes back into circulation.
DR. BRIANA
I just need to be able to make phone calls, I can't be without a phone.
“CLERK”
That's what these are for. Make your calls, and when you're done with it you're done with it.
DR. BRIANA
Can I sell it back?
“CLERK”
No, it's not really worth anything that's why they don't cost much to begin with.
DR. BRIANA
OK thanks, I’ll take it.
DR. BRIANA pays for the phones with cash. She's not sure why but she wants to buy two but it seems like a good idea. She has a second thought and leaves one of them laying on the counter. She goes into another store and buys a second one.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM
DR. BRIANA finds herself with a group of moms at a basketball game and they're talking about the kids upcoming spring break plans
DR. BRIANA
Well, who's going with them on this trip?
“SUSAN” (ANOTHER SENIOR MOM)
I think Fred is going to chaperone.
DR. BRIANA
That's an interesting choice.
“SUSAN”
Well, the kids didn't really want anyone else to go.
DR. BRIANA
What about the girls? Isn't there a woman going along as a chaperone?
They look at each other apparently no one has thought about this
INT. VET CLINIC
INT. VET CLINIC
DR. BRIANA
Jill, I think we should shut down over spring break. Cloe is going skiing. I'm planning on going to the beach and I think you deserve some time off.
JILL
I don't know Jen, nobody at my house ever wants to go anywhere or do anything.
DR. BRIANA
You should just go by yourself then. You should take that trip to New York that you always talk about.
JILL
I know, I just don't think I could afford it.
DR. BRIANA
How about this, you buy the plane tickets and I’ll pay for your hotel.
JILL
Briana, I can’t take your money. I’ll be perfectly fine just staying here this spring break. Don’t you worry about me.
DR. BRIANA
I mean it. We've had a good year and this Buster business might set us up for an even better one next year. Go, you deserve to do something for yourself.
JILL
Well I can't say no to that! I’ve wanted to go since I was Cleo’s age. Thank you, you don’t know how much this means to me.
JILL hugs DR. BRIANA and kisses her on the cheek.
INT. OF A CAR BOBBY AND MARCUS
MARCUS
You know what, this is going to be the time of our life and we don't even have to lie to the girls.
BOBBY
I know but I miss Cleo, man.
MARCUS
Shut up, you big wuss. You know half the girls going on this trip broke up with their boyfriends less than three weeks ago just so they'd be available while they’re out of the country.
BOBBY
Who you got your eye on?
MARCUS
Susan's been looking pretty fine. And I hear she's got skills.
BOBBY
Who do you think I ought to talk to?
MARCUS
All of em’. You should try to get with a different girl every night. You could go from being Mr. nice guy to Mr. badass in a week’s time. Why don't you use some of that hey let me draw your picture shit that you do?
BOBBY smiles.
BOBBY
What time is our flight tomorrow?
MARCUS
6 AM Picasso. Rise and shine.
BRIANA is following behind the two boys as they drive down the highway in her rented black SUV
BOBBY and MARCUS pull up outside of a highway hotel. The sun is starting to set.
INT. LOBBY OF THE HOTEL
BOBBY and MARCUS are catching up with other seniors from their class.
“TALL SENIOR BOY”
Dude we got invited to a party at the SAE house. Put your shit in your room and let's get over there.
MARCUS
Hell yeah. We'll be right there.
BOBBY smiles they both take off down the hall
INT. SAE HOUSE
The boys are moving around, and all the girls are moving around milling with the college kids. Everybody seems to be having a great time.
MARCUS looks at his phone
He turns to BOBBY
MARCUS
Some girl we met tonight is texting me. She says there's another party, one that’s a little more secluded, if ya know what I mean.
MARCUS elbows BOBBY and gives him a sleazy grin
She said her and some of her friends are headed out there right now. Boy, I'm going to get you a notch in your belt before we even get on the plane.
BOBBY
Good with me, I can't even find our girls.
MARCUS
Of course not. They’re all up in those rooms with college guys. Did you think they were going to pay attention to you here?
BOBBY shrugs his shoulders
MARCUS
Dude, we’re football recruits. College girls feel like it's their duty to the program to try and recruit us to go to school here.
MARCUS smiles
Come on let's go.
They both head for the door
INT. CAR
BOBBY and MARCUS are driving in complete darkness
MARCUS
This is what the directions say. turn here.
They turn into and continue down a gravel farm road toward the headlights that are pointed at them. BOBBY stops the car and steps out.
We hear the sound of a dart flying through the air and smack him in the chest. MARCUS was getting out on the passenger side just seconds behind BOBBY and was looking away when his friend fell to the ground. As MARCUS looks over to his left to see where BOBBY went we hear a second dart come whizzing through the air. MARCUS goes down immediately.
DR. BRIANA comes walking toward the two boys carrying a stretcher. She rolls BOBBY over onto it and straps him down.
She checks his pulse
She walked back toward the headlights and comes back with the second stretcher. and tends to MARCUS. She then backs the SUV right up to the boy’s feet. She lifts BOBBY'S feet into the back gate. She ties a rope around the stretcher handles and loops it under the front passenger seat. She then ties it underneath the front bumper of BOBBY'S car. She gets in BOBBY'S car and gently put it in reverse as she backs up he is pulled up and into the SUV. She does the same thing to MARCUS. Then DR. BRIANA takes the boys car and drives it into the barn.
She then jumps back in to her SUV turns and takes off down the highway.
It's clearly past 1 AM when she arrives back at here clinic. She backs all the way into the barn side of her building and closes the overhead door behind her.
She unloads the boys onto a make shift platform using gravity this time. She checks their vitals and hooks them up to IV drips. We see her inject what must be a sedative into the IV. She starts to unstrap them from the stretchers and then stops, she looks at her watch. It's almost 2 AM. She gets a flashlight and looks all over the SUV to see if there are any stains or trash. She pulls all the seats back up. Then she opens the garage door with all the lights turned off, slowly she rolls of black SUV forward, gets out closes the garage door gets back in her vehicle and slowly drives away, when she has gotten a little distance away from the clinic she turns on her lights. We then see her Park the SUV back in front of the rental car store. She drops the keys in the drop box and walks away. We notice that in addition to her purse she is carrying what appears to be a helmet.
We then see her come to a tiny scooter. She puts on the helmet and pulls out a pair of clear glasses.
When she arrives back at the barn she pops the trunk of BOBBY's car and hauls the scooter inside.
The next thing we see she is backing BOBBY's car into her clinic. She checks her watch it's 4 AM. She gets to work.
We start to notice the sun rising just as DR. BRIANA is finishing up with the operations.
She checks all of their vital signs and walks into one of the exam rooms and lays down on the yoga mats we saw her purchased earlier.
She is awakened by a knock at the door of the clinic, then her phone starts ringing. We hear the message say we are closed this week for vacation. If this is an emergency, please try Dr. Philip Barnes in Creighton at (515) 456-3214 or Dr. Lucy Anderson in Steubenville at (515) 458-3399 - they are both open this week.
The message is interrupted by more banging at the door. DR. BRIANA looks panicked trying to imagine if someone saw her come in and out of the clinic last night.
DR. BRIANA makes her way into the reception area where she can see the two black and white screens connected to the security cameras at the front and back doors
Turns out it's FRED looking at his phone
EXT. DR. BRIANA’S CLINIC
FRED
Who the hell doesn't answer their phone on vacation?
He dials again, DR. BRIANA phone is vibrating she immediately sends him to voicemail.
We hear FRED outside
FRED
Well hell maybe Dr. Barnes will sell me Trendblonde and Melonjester.
He turns and walks back to his truck
DR. BRIANA hears him drive away and the tension goes out of her face, she slips back through the clinic to go check on her patients, she pauses just before opening the door to their room and she says out loud to herself
DR. BRIANA
What if one of them wakes up?
She then rips up some cloths and makes blindfolds, the first thing she does is placed them over MARCUS and BOBBY'S eyes as soon as she walks in. She then crouches down and lifts up the sheets and checks the progress of their healing
The next day we see BOBBY moving his head around as though he is waking up and trying to rub the blindfold off the back of his head. She places a hand on his forehead and he stops moving. We then see the plunger of a syringe go into the IV, BOBBY is out cold again.
DR. BRIANA notices a rash on the boy’s legs similar to what the cat had under it's chin.
She goes back into her lab room and mixes up the same Cortisone compound and rubs it on to the boy’s rashes
The next thing we see she is taking out the stitching. She looks at her work and smiles. Apparently, she is pleased that the results are virtually invisible.
DR. BRIANA
Looks as good as the pigs’
DR. BRIANA has to wrestle the boy’s underwear and jeans back up, she has to rock them each side to side while yanking on the fabric to get it up and over their butts.
She looks at BOBBY'S car and we realize she has her work cut out to get these two big boys into the vehicles somehow.
She brings out a cart on wheels, lifts BOBBY, one end at a time, onto the cart.
She then rolls him over and pushes his head into the open door of the back seat. She then ties a rope around the front of the stretcher like before and wraps it around a corral post. Next she hooks the rope to a set of calf puller's and starts to ratchet BOBBY slowly across the back seat. All the while she has carefully repositioned the IV so that he remains sedated.
Now that he is in the car she looks at him strapped to the stretcher and we see clearly see she has some decisions to make. She decides to take him off the stretcher before attempting to get MARCUS in to the car. Once he is unstrapped she decides to pull him down into the floorboard. She then goes through the same procedure with MARCUS.
Now both boys are lying asleep in the backseat of BOBBY'S car one on the floorboard and the other on the backseat. BRIANA puts both seat belts over MARCUS so he won't roll off the seat onto BOBBY. She checks her watch it's about 10 PM.
She walks up to the truck carrying a big black trash bag she begins to unpack pizza boxes and set them neatly in the passenger side floor board.
We hear the tinkle of glass bottles but they remain in the trash bag.
After packing up the car, she walks back through the clinic.
DR. BRIANA looks exhausted her hair is oily she looks as though she hasn't showered in days. she sees herself in the bathroom mirror and realizes she has got to get cleaned up. She then sticks her head under the faucet in the lab and washes her hair. The next thing we see she looks like herself again.
She grabs her purse and her helmet checks her watch sees that it is 2 AM climbs into BOBBY'S car.
Everything in the clinic has been put away there is no trace of the stretchers or the IV stands or that the boys were ever there.
Both IV bags are laying in the front passenger seat she throws a blanket over them and heads out.
Pulling into a take-out pizza place she parks away from the door. Minutes later she walks out with two large boxes. She then drives back to the old barn. When she gets there she scatters beer bottles all over the backseat in and around BOBBY and MARCUS.
She scatters the empty pizza boxes and leaves the two fresh pizzas unopened in the passenger seat.
She undoes the seatbelts around MARCUS and removes the IV and puts them into her bag. She checks her watch then puts on her helmet, straps her purse cross-chested over her shoulder.
She drags the scooter out of the back of the car, kicks it started and drives away into the darkness.
They wake up slumped over each other.
Their phones don’t work.
For the next several weeks DR. BRIANA keeps sending them texts about what a great time they all had, how they jumped in the pool the first night with all their clothes on.
Over the next several months she keeps it up.
She even sends them a pregnancy scare.
The boys are starting to change but VALERIE and CLEO are done with them.
MARCUS tries to be nice to VALERIE because he still doesn’t fully understand why they broke up.
Toward the end of the year after graduation MARCUS runs into VALERIE.
He has not managed to find another girlfriend. He's barely managed to keep it together at all.
EXT. SIDEWALK MAINSTREET
MARCUS
Hey Valerie.
VALERIE
Hey yourself. How are you doing.
MARCUS
Just getting ready for summer.
VALERIE
Oh yeah. How can I help?
MARCUS
Valerie I'm sorry. It was an accident really, I mean these things happen why does it have to be such a big deal?
VALERIE
Are you trying to get back together with me?
MARCUS
Well that would be nice.
He smiles
VALERIE
I take it college wasn't all it was cracked up to be?
MARCUS
What’re you talking about?
VALERIE
I heard you guys didn't even make it to Mexico and spent the whole week with some wild chick from Indiana instead.
MARCUS
Where did you hear that?
VALERIE
Small Town.
MARCUS
Come on, Val, does it really have to be over like this?
VALERIE
I moved on. I thought you had too. I’m different now, I’m good.
MARCUS turns and walks away
EXT. PARTY,
Two college boys are talking to VALERIE and CLEO Close up
CLEO
I’m going to medical school, what are you doing with your life?
“BOY”
Marketing.
VALERIE
I don't even know if I want to go to college. I think a girl like me should just have a man who wants to take care of her. Are you the kind of man that wants to take care of a girl like me?
The young man nods his head in affirmation
“BOY”
There's a little get together back at the house and you girls sure would be welcome.
INT. NEXT DAY CLEO’S HOUSE
VALERIE comes in smiling
CLEO
How was the little get together?
VALERIE
Well I wouldn't exactly say it was little.
CLEO
Girl you need to be careful.
VALERIE
Oh, everybody was suited up. I don't have any time to be somebody's baby mama.
CLEO
Everybody?
VALERIE
Well after you left, and they were both so cute.
CLEO
You’re kidding me?
VALERIE
Nope, seeing both of them again next week.
VALERIE winks at CLEO
CLEO just stares at her
Act 2
5 years later
INT. SORORITY HOUSE ROOM
Fade into VALERIE’S face at the same angle as the previous scene only with phone up to her ear, CLEO is on the other end of the call in her college apartment.
VALERIE has just told CLEO that she's pregnant.
VALERIE
I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm stuck in this Redneck State and I didn't even find out till it's past the time they let you get rid of it.
CLEO
Oh my god honey I'm so sorry. Listen, we’ll figure this out. I'm sure they're all kinds of reasonable options.
VALERIE
I just needed to talk to you. I'm already starting to get fat.
VALERIE’s phone beeps
Hey I've gotta go we’re having a social here in two hours.
CLEO
Okay, but promise me you’ll take care of yourself.
VALERIE
I ain't lettin this thing slow me down. You know what I'm sayin?
CLEO
Call me tomorrow, okay? I'm going to be worried about you.
VALERIE
Sure thing babe. Thanks for looking after me, there's no one else I could tell.
INT. SORORITY HOUSE
later that night VALERIE sees BOBBY, CLEO’S old boyfriend. He has changed, he's thinner and, well, somewhat effeminate.
VALERIE
Fancy seeing you here. What are you doing on campus?
BOBBY
I just came over to see the Jimenez show and to hang out with Jake.
VALERIE
The what?
BOBBY
You know the dude that made the big blue horse in Denver.
VALERIE
All I know is that horse has got some big blue balls. Stands to reason, there ain't no mare to take care of that big boy.
BOBBY
How's life?
VALERIE
I guess it's good. College isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.
She pauses
I'm actually thinking about going to law school so that I can get paid for just being a bitch.
BOBBY
Well I wish you the best of luck. Man, this place is like a beauty pageant, where do all these girls come from?
VALERIE
What, am I not pretty enough for you?
BOBBY
No Valerie you fit right in. You may just be the prettiest one of the bunch.
VALERIE
That’s more like it.
She smiles
Let's go dance.
BOBBY
Don't you have a boyfriend or something?
VALERIE
Nobody special, there are too many cute guys to let one tie you down.
She takes his hand and leads him to where people are dancing.
It's mostly women on the dance floor and they're grinding. It's a little shocking.
He's having trouble keeping his eyes on VALERIE and she's having trouble keeping her eyes on him. She pulls him close and starts to grind his leg he smiles
BOBBY
What would Cleo think of this?
VALERIE
I think she would approve, just because she doesn't want to have any fun doesn't mean she’s against the rest of us having a good time.
He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her closer
They look into each other’s faces he smiles and she squints the corners of her eyes an idea has come into her head.
INT. BED ROOM,
They tumbled through the door of her room and onto a tiny twin bed, he is huge.
Next we see he is asleep pushed up against the wall feet hanging off the end of the tiny twin bed. She sits cross-legged on the bed with her back to him she has a contemplative look on her face she’s stirring over the idea.
INT. BOBBY’S PAINTING STUDIO IN THE ART SCHOOL BUILDING
He answers his phone
BOBBY
Hey Valerie, I didn't expect to hear from you
VALERIE
Well Bobby, I have a little situation.
INT. BOBBY’S APARTMENT
With roommate
BOBBY
You know that girl I was telling you about, the one I went to high school with? My high school girlfriends best friend? Well she called me up today and told me she's pregnant.
“ROOM MATE”
So?
BOBBY
She said I got her pregnant.
“ROOM MATE”
Dude, are you an idiot?
BOBBY
Yes. Shit. I didn't expect anything to happen. I mean you know, that just doesn't happen to me. You know it's not like, shit. She's so hot, why was she into me anyway. Shit.
His friend is just staring at him
What am I going to do?
“ROOM MATE”
What does she wanna do?
BOBBY
She said she didn't know yet but she can't get rid of it. It's like for religious reasons or something I don't know. What am I supposed to do? I can't raise a kid with this girl she was best friends with
…(trails off, can’t finish his sentence)
BOBBY sighs
I've had some really good friends who were adopted. They have so many questions - the whole genetic who am I thing. I don't know just, I can’t imagine raising a kid with this girl. I don't know. I have no idea.
INT. SORORITY HOUSE
Phone conversation between VALERIE and CLEO. VALERIE is at her sorority house and CLEO is at her apartment.
VALERIE
I figured out who's it is.
CLEO
Yeah, what's he think?
VALERIE
It's funny he kind of brought up some interesting points.
CLEO
Like what?
VALERIE
Like adopted kids always have these questions about who they are you know? Are they going to have a heart attack or diabetes or something? And he's got this idea that his work would allow him to be a stay at home Dad.
CLEO
Yeah, and what kind of work is that?
VALERIE
He's an artist.
CLEO
And he wants you to keep the baby?
VALERIE
Well I didn't see this coming
CLEO
Who is this guy?
VALERIE
Well, Cleo, that's the thing. It's someone you know.
CLEO
Someone I know?
VALERIE
Yeah. Pretty well.
CLEO
Pretty well?
VALERIE
Yeah look he came over here for a party we hadn't seen each other since high school I was really having a good time, and one thing led to another and before you know it I got pregnant.
CLEO
Valerie who the hell are you talking about?
VALERIE
It's Bobby.
CLEO
Wait, did he force himself on you?
VALERIE
Cle, no, I’m so sorry it wasn't like that.
CLEO
What the hell, are you kidding me? You can't start a family with that guy! I can't come to the wedding, not after what happened between us.
VALERIE
Hold on, who said anything about a wedding? I’m going to law school I took my LSAT last week and I'm betting that I got the highest score on campus. I’m not letting this slow me down.
CLEO
Val what the hell?
VALERIE
I'm sorry Cle, I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad it just happened.
CLEO
I don't know what to say, a lot has changed in the past four years. A whole lot has changed.
INT. HOSPITAL
baby being born
“LADY DOCTOR”
It's a boy
The baby has dark curly brown hair and olive skin, BOBBY has fine straight blonde hair and is pale
VALERIE holds the baby strokes his curly hair
VALERIE
He looks just like my grandpa. But his face is shaped like yours
She looks at BOBBY, the baby's face is shaped nothing like BOBBY'S
INT. BOBBY'S PAINTING STUDIO,
he has a baby strapped to his chest facing outward.
He is trying to paint and the baby keeps reaching for the paintbrush.
He looks like some type of Hindu God with extra arms and legs growing out of his chest.
Many of which are kicking and flailing.
His phone rings.
He puts the phone to his ear and the baby reaches back for it and tries to join the conversation.
On the other end of the line, VALERIE, dressed in sexy business attire,
VALERIE
Bobby, there's a client in town that we've got to entertain this evening have you and Little Bobby got everything you need?
BOBBY'S face is smashed into the back of the baby’s head as he tries to talk and the baby is trying to eat the phone.
BOBBY
Yeah, we can manage.
There is paint on BOBBY, paint on the baby and very little paint on the painting
BOBBY looks at the canvas and lets out a sigh
BOBBY
Alright little man, let's take a break and get something to eat.
They go into the kitchen and the arms and legs are flying all over again. BOBBY opens the refrigerator and reaches toward the back and LITTLE BOBBY grabs two condiment bottles and as they both back out of the refrigerator bottles go crashing to the kitchen floor.
After BOBBY gets the mess cleaned up he decides to make some eggs for an omelet. LITTLE BOBBY reaches for all the utensils and does everything he can to help with the cooking.
INT. NIGHT CLUB,
we see VALERIE on the dance floor with a couple of well-dressed men two of her other female colleagues are seated back at the table with one other man. VALERIE is probably dancing a little inappropriately for a young lawyer trying to make partner
INT. VALERIE & BOBBY’S HOUSE
VALERIE comes home to find the kitchen more or less a disaster.
She finds dirty baby and dirty BOBBY passed out in their respective beds.
INT. VALERIE'S OFFICE
VALERIE'S boss meets her in a corridor and stops to chat.
“BOSS HAROLD”
BILL and JOE from Carter just sent me an email and told me how much they appreciate you taking care of their business. They said they have some other contracts they're going to bring over to our firm. I appreciate your hard work.
VALERIE
My pleasure, Harold. I enjoyed working with them.
She pats him on the shoulder and walks on down the corridor.
HAROLD checks to see that no one is watching him then turns and watches her walk away.
She is a sight to behold
INT. MASTER BATHROOM,
VALERIE is looking at an pregnancy test stick that shows a +
VALERIE
Damn it.
INT. KITCHEN,
VALERIE walks in and BOBBY has her breakfast made for her he's smiling. LITTLE BOBBY is smiling. He's got Cheerios stuck to his face and all over the floor but he’s happy.
She smiles.
BOBBY
Good morning sunshine.
She looks at him and smiles good morning.
BOBBY
Who are these clients that you keep having to entertain so often?
VALERIE
Oh, they're real estate guys, you know they're trying to buy half the city, got a bunch of European money. It's all part of the gig.
BOBBY
Hey I'm cool with that, this is working fine for me.
She smiles like Mona Lisa.
VALERIE
This is working pretty well isn't it?
BOBBY
Yeah, I mean it's like I've got four arms and legs to paint with and cook with. It's awesome.
VALERIE
You know what we should get a babysitter tonight. Those guys went home this morning and you and I should go have some fun.
VALERIE Pulls out her phone
I think Julie at work has a 14-year-old daughter, let me see what I can do.
BOBBY
Okay cool. Have a great day.
VALERIE
You too.
INT. FUNKY WEIRD DISCO, LOTS OF GAY PEOPLE, LOTS OF FREAKS, TOTALLY DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE THAN WHERE SHE TAKES THE LAW CLIENTS.
They dance, both of them like Donna Summer, YMCA it doesn't get much gayer than this. Everyone's happy they're having lots of fun.
They get home they pay the babysitter.
VALERIE
Thank you, you’re great with him. Was he good?
BABYSITTER nods her head
VALERIE(CONTINUED)
Oh good! I'm so happy. Here's what I owe you and here's another 20 for your trouble. Thank you so much. I hope you're able to do this again for us. Do you mind waiting for your Mom on the front porch?
VALERIE drags BOBBY down the hall.
Pushes him onto the bed then she climbs on top of him.
INT. BATHROOM
VALERIE is standing on top of the toilet in her underwear reaching on top of the medicine cabinet She pulls down the pregnancy test with the +
She walks into the kitchen
She turns to LITTLE BOBBY walks up to him and says
VALERIE
I've got some news for you little man
Big BOBBY is cooking breakfast in the background.
Looks like you're going to be a big brother.
BOBBY turns around and stares at her.
The camera zooms in on his face.
Then it zooms back out and there's a baby stuck to his chest and it's not LITTLE BOBBY it doesn't even look like LITTLE BOBBY it looks like one of the law clients that has red hair.
He's staring. We don't know what big BOBBY is staring at.
It turns out he's staring at a blank canvas.
The little baby’s arms and legs are flailing and waving just like LITTLE BOBBY'S.
He smiles. Big BOBBY smiles like he knows what to do to the canvas.
Big BOBBY then turns around and we see LITTLE BOBBY strapped to his back in a second Bjorn baby carrier.
LITTLE BOBBY has a paintbrush in his hand and red paint all over it he swipes it across the canvas and starts painting away seriously.
Big BOBBY turns back around with his own paintbrush in hand to face the canvas and sees that it’s already been started.
INT. OLD VETERINARIAN’S OFFICE
FRED the volunteer parent football enthusiast walks in and shakes hands with the old veterinarian
FRED
Hey Steve, you got my go-go juice?
DR. STEVE
Yeah Freddie, it came in yesterday. You know an article came out last week about the test they been doing at ISU. Seems like the earlier you can get feeder pigs started on it the greater the overall growth you get. They've even looked at feeding it to the sows to get it into the milk supply while they are still suckling.
FRED
Thanks Doc, I just got a fresh batch of feeder pigs in yesterday they probably weigh 40 pounds apiece. How much should I give them?
DR. STEVE
Well how much you've been given them 200 pounders you're finishing?
FRED
About 10 CCs daily.
DR. STEVE
Just cut it down proportionately then. Turn it up as they grow. You'll need to cut ‘em real quick. The little boar hogs in the study grew balls bigger than grapefruits and tried to breed just about everything in the pin.
FRED
Sounds great Doc. Thanks a bunch.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER ROOM
FRED is cooking up eggs pancakes sausage and bacon for the football team.
In walks COACH JULES.
COACH JULES
Morning, Fred.
FRED
Morning Coach, boys look good. They're all eating well
COACH JULES
You got anything left.
FRED
Sure, sure - hang on let me scramble you some fresh eggs.
COACH JULES
These’ll be fine.
FRED
No, they been sitting there for half an hour - cold by now
COACH JULES
I like cold eggs. You got a pancake I can wrap these up in?
FRED
Sure thing Coach, here you go.
COACH JULES
This is good, I’m going to start coming down here with you guys every day.
FRED
You are? You know the boys use this time to really talk about - well you know, it's like I'm not here. They say things they might not say if a teacher or coach were around, you know. It's kind of the only time they have when they can just all be together.
COACH JULES
Alright why don't I come by later and you and I can grab a bite together and leave the boys in peace.
FRED
Alright that sounds like a plan. Can we eat in your office?
COACH JULES
Sure thing. Let’s have the other coaches join us too, what do you say?
FRED
Sounds good. And Coach, since this has been going so well I volunteered to do the same thing for the Middle School boys.
COACH JULES
That's a great idea my boys will love it. Maybe I'll pop in there and catch breakfast with them if I miss breakfast here.
FRED
I liked your first idea coach. Let's eat in your office.
COACH JULES
Okay, but it would be nice to have breakfast with my sons every now and then.
FRED
I hear you. We’ll make arrangements for that.
COACH JULES
Thanks for doing this Fred. Our boys, well they play like a family. Coach Jules family. The family Jules.
FRED laughs.
Act 3
17 years from the beginning
INT. ANNOUNCERS IN THE PRESS BOX STATE CHAMPIOGAM
MARV Announcer number one
MARV
You know these Letona Lions have made it to the state 3A championship game for the past 12 years in a row.
DEAN Announcer number two
DEAN
Yeah Marv, some people say it must be something in the water over there at Letona but I think it's the leadership of Coach Jules.
MARV
Yeah Coach Jules does a fine job of getting his boys ready. They come over here and they seem bigger and stronger and faster than anyone else in the division.
DEAN
Well Marv that partially is the excellent conditioning program and tradition that they have in Letona. Part of it is they somehow manage to keep many of their greatest players living right there in Letona and raising their own sons who turn out to be just as good of football players as their daddies.
MARV
That is true. It's rather extraordinary how many second-generation players we see continuing the great football tradition of this powerhouse town.
DEAN
You know you just don't see that much but over at Letona there are Dads involved in the raising of their sons unlike anywhere else in central Iowa.
MARV
Yes, Letona is a great football town and Coach Jules has managed to get more NCAA scholarships for his players than any other coach in the state.
DEAN
That's true Marv it is interesting to note that many of his players have had lackluster college careers but they all have gone to finish their education and become model citizens.
MARV
Yeah Dean, it's true that many of Coach Jules players have been plagued by injury but I would tell you that's because the NCAA coaches have started these players too young. They're so big and so strong when they get on the college campus they look like they're ready to go up against juniors and seniors and well it's just not the case. The body needs time to develop in order to be able to take the beating that college football dishes out.
DEAN
And here they come on the field! These boys do look like they are ready to play college ball.
INT. RECEPTION AREA OF DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE
In walks FRED.
JILL
Hey Fred, how you doing today?
FRED
Not bad, is Briana in?
JILL
Yeah, she should be wrapped up shortly can you hang on for 10 minutes?
FRED fumbles with the box of Fauxboules on the counter.
FRED
You been following the boys this season?
JILL
Always do, they look like a championship team to me.
FRED
They're pretty good but I'm afraid they're losing their edge. They're just not as hungry as they were at the start of the season.
DR. BRIANA emerges
DR. BRIANA
Hey Fred, what are you up to today?
FRED
Well I really wanted to talk to you about the Trim Blonde and Melon Jester.
DR. BRIANA
Melengestrol?
FRED
Yeah that's it.
DR. BRIANA
Fred those are serious drugs and have to be administered by a licensed physician there really used to help wounds heal faster and to promote recovery after an illness.
FRED
Yeah but man, does that stuff sure make those pigs grow. DR. Steve always just sent me what I needed.
DR. BRIANA
I loved DR. Steve and I miss him a lot, that man taught me a whole bunch of what I know, but I can't do that for you. I'm more than happy to set up some kind of experiment we can run it on a group of your hogs but I can't let that medicine out of my sight.
FRED
That sounds expensive to have to have you there the whole time.
DR. BRIANA
I'll treat you right. I'm actually curious to see what this does.
FRED
If we can prove that it's safe in these young hogs will you supply me with the quantities I need and let me get back on track without your personal supervision?
DR. BRIANA
Let's see what the side effects there are first before I make any promises. How much of the stuff do I need to order?
EXT. MAIN STREET SATURDAY IN LETONA.
There are men pushing strollers, wearing Bjorn baby carriers. Men are chasing kids holding their hands to keep them from running out into the street.
We see a little boy run over and lift up a little girl’s skirt The little girl screams. The Mom turns around looks at the Dad who is pushing the stroller wearing a baby Bjorn Baby carrier. The Dad just shrugs his shoulders and he holds up his hands as if to say what can I do? He's a boy.
We notice the man who is the father of the little girl standing behind his wife. He's holding another child's hand and wearing a Bjorn baby as well and he shrugs his shoulders too.
INT. DOCTORS PRIVATE OFFICE
CLEO now a young doctor calls her Mom DR. BRIANA, telephone conversation
CLEO
Mom I don't know what's going on in that hayseed town you live in? Another one of these girls has come to see me.
DR. BRIANA
What happened hon?
CLEO
Her boyfriend wouldn't take no for an answer
DR. BRIANA
What’s she gonna do?
CLEO
I don't know I gave her some options. She such a bright girl but it's too late for the morning after thing.
DR. BRIANA
I was a bright girl too Cleo and somehow I managed to keep you.
CLEO
I know Mom, I just don't know what she's going to do.
DR. BRIANA
Like father like son.
CLEO
What are you talking about?
DR. BRIANA
That girl dates Little Bobby. Oh sweetie I'm so sorry.
CLEO
I am too Mom. I just hate this.
INT. DR. COX EXAM ROOM,
BOBBY is here to see DR. COX
BOBBY
Doc, I just can’t take this anymore. My boys are out of control, I’m not getting anything done.
BOBBY pauses
I’ve heard if you’re the primary caregiver that you can get into a hormonal imbalance. There’s something wrong with me Doc but I’m not sick, sick.
DR. COX, David Cox, Fraternity brother of MARCUS, late 30s, Same age as BOBBY, Specializes in fertility, and hormone therapy.
DR. COX
Well, let’s have a look.
Doc. draws blood
DR. COX (CONTINUED)
I’ll have these test results back shortly, can you wait?
INT. WAITING ROOM
BOBBY sits down. There is a young woman also seated in the waiting room with two young boys both under the age of five. The young woman gets called back to the reception desk to answer some more questions. The minute she gets up the five-year-old looks over his shoulder then wraps his arms around the three-year-olds head and wrestles him to the floor. Under his breath BOBBY whispers to them like an old woman.
BOBBY
You boys quit that. Stop it. Stop it right now you two.
BOBBY reaches down and grabs the biggest one by the upper arm and pulls him off his brother.
The young mother comes back over.
“YOUNG MOTHER”
Oh, were they fighting again, I'm so sorry, thank you.
BOBBY
No problem I've raised 5 boys. They fight all the time.
“YOUNG MOTHER”
Five boys? Do you have any daughters?
BOBBY
Nope just boys. These two are going to be just fine, I can tell.
“RECEPTIONIST”
Bobby
INT. EXAM ROOM
DR. COX
You’ve got the testosterone levels of a eunuch. Let’s get you scheduled for an MRI next week.
INT. DR. COX OFFICE
MRI results are in.
DR. COX
You better come in to see me.
BOBBY
Is it cancer?
DR. COX
No, nothing like that just come down as soon as you can.
INT. WAITING ROOM DR. COX OFFICE
Nurse sends BOBBY straight back.
DR. COX
You can read the logo on the MRI. When did you have this done?
BOBBY
Are you kidding me? I didn’t have this done.
DR. COX
Who could have done this without you knowing?
BOBBY
Do you think Valerie did this to me? Wait how do I have all these kids?
DR. COX
I’m going to put you on a testosterone replacement but there really isn’t anything else I can do.
INT. BOBBY'S HOUSE IN THE STUDIO
Paintings are in the background not a single female nude BOBBY and MARCUS are talking
BOBBY
I went to see Dave Cox over in Ames. He put me on some testosterone therapy. Apparently if you spend all your time taking care the kids you turn you into a woman.
MARCUS
Really, and how do you feel now?
BOBBY
I'm feeling the best I've felt in a long time. I'm seeing things I haven't seen in a while. I think I'm going to make some paintings of women. I haven't even noticed women for a long time, it's like I turned into one for a while.
MARCUS
Cut it out man. I don't want to think about what happened to my man card. Can you text me Dave's number? I might as well go get my testosterone levels checked too.
DR. COX, is talking with DR. CLEO, they look like they are at a conference happy hour.
DR. COX
You're not going to believe this, but I just had a third case where a guy has come in with prosthetic balls.
CLEO
Wait what?
DR. COX
Yeah, I think they're called Fauxboules. Yeah and these guys didn't even know they had ‘em! I'm treating them all with testosterone trying to help them get their manhood back.
CLEO
Does that work? I thought once they were gone that was it.
DR. COX
Apparently not, A colleague told me to watch the movie Ferinelli about the last castrati, that guy had women all over Europe lined up to do him after his concerts, I would never have guessed.
INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE STUDIO
BOBBY and BABYSITTER
BOBBY has gotten his manhood back after seeing the doctor
BABYSITTER - Taylor Winters is like a younger version of VALERIE, Beautiful, flirtatious and aggressive
BABYSITTER
I love your paintings. You're amazing.
BOBBY
Do you like art?
BABYSITTER
It's my favorite subject in school.
BOBBY
Do you paint?
BABYSITTER
I mostly draw but I've started to paint a little bit this year.
BOBBY
What do you like to draw?
BABYSITTER
Well I took a course in Ames, and I learned I like to draw men.
BOBBY
I understand. I like to draw women. It's fun to look at naked people.
BABYSITTER
Yeah, I want to go to Burning Man.
BOBBY
Burning Man?
BABYSITTER
Yeah you know, everyone's naked.
BOBBY
Well I don't know if that's the entire point.
BABYSITTER
Well it looks like lots of fun. One of the art students in Ames was building a big unicorn that shot fire out it's butt to take it out there. I think it would be so fun to go with them.
BOBBY
So, you're an art student?
BABYSITTER
Yeah absolutely.
BOBBY
When does school start back?
BABYSITTER
Next week. I'm getting things ready to go.
BOBBY
What big projects you planning on working on this year?
BABYSITTER
Well I don't know I really like the idea of making some big thing lighting a fire dancing around naked. You ever do anything like that?
BOBBY
I've always meant to, and then well I got caught up doing this stuff.
BABYSITTER
Why I think it's amazing your wife has this great career and you've been able to raise five kids and make all these amazing paintings.
BOBBY
Well it's not for everyone but it's worked for us. We’re not actually married.
BABYSITTER
Oh well, I like a sensitive man who's in touch with his maternal instincts.
BOBBY
It's pretty wild bouncing around between being a football Dad half the day and an artist the other half.
BABYSITTER
What are you working on right now?
BOBBY
I started painting some nudes again, you want to see?
He turns and takes her around behind the easel. On the large canvas is a female nude very nicely done It's of an older woman. A little on the heavy side
BABYSITTER
This is nice although I have a hard time picturing it hanging in someone's home.
BOBBY
Yeah, I know it's like hanging up porn where everybody can see it. I'll Have to find a gallery in New York that caters to old perverts and shut in couples who have to keep stuff like this around to keep themselves stimulated.
BABYSITTER
Well what if you painted someone younger?
BOBBY
It depends but it would probably be easier to sell, the problem is finding a model, everyone your age is so busy.
BABYSITTER
I've got time. I don't have to be back in school for 10 more days and got nothing to do between now and then.
BOBBY smiles
BOBBY
Well I guess the interview’s over, you're hired.
He looks her up and down, she has on tight clothes.
BOBBY
Why don't you go ahead and put on a robe so the marks on your skin from your clothes have time to go away before we get started. I'm going to stretch a new canvas.
He turns and walks away.
She starts unbuttoning her shirt right there and before you know it, she's not wearing a thing, we notice the tight red marks from her waistband and bra.
Without putting on a robe she walks over to where BOBBY has a large canvas stretched out on the floor and stands in front of him naked.
He looks up from his work, he's essentially eye level with her waist.
She steps toward him onto the canvas stretched out on the floor. He reaches an arm around her waist and pulls her to him.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE
BOBBY
Hi doc.
DR. BRIANA
Hello Bobby, what do we have here?
BOBBY
Well the boys have been pestering me for a dog for 10 years now and this one showed up at the house and well he's started off as a pretty good dog. Now he seems to be humping everything in sight. Didn't really bother me till he started going up my leg while I'm trying to work.
DR. BRIANA
I can see how that would be a problem. Let's get him vaccinated today and we’ll schedule an appointment for you to bring him back for neutering.
BOBBY
I just hate the thought of that.
DR. BRIANA
It's the only thing that'll bring an end to the leg love.
BOBBY
Will he grow out of it?
DR. BRIANA
Not for about 10 years. By then he'll be about the equivalent of a 70-year-old man
BOBBY
Can't I just take him to obedience training?
DR. BRIANA
I have rarely seen it work out. It's hard even for show dogs and there you're dealing with professional trainers. One reason show dogs have such low fertility is that the most dominant males don't do well in the show ring. They’re not like cattle where you can just put a ring in a Bull's nose and twist the hell out of it to make him behave.
BOBBY
Okay, if we’ve got to we've got to.
DR. BRIANA gives Brutus the shots she's been preparing while they talk
JILL has been in the room the whole time nodding her head and making big-eyes with all the discussion about leg humping and bull nose ring twisting
DR. BRIANA
Okay, Brutus is all fixed up n vaccinated. Just make an appointment with Jill on your way out and remember, he can't eat anything for 12 hours before surgery.
INT. RECEPTION DESK DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE
JILL
Can you come back on this Thursday at 7 AM?
BOBBY
I got to get the kids to school I can be here by 8:15.
JILL
Okay we can't do that on Thursday, how about Friday morning 8:15?
BOBBY
Sounds good.
JILL
Remember you have to take up his food after dinner Thursday night and don't let him eat anything for breakfast Friday morning.
BOBBY
I better put a reminder in my phone or the boys will be feeding him.
BOBBY lays his phone down on the counter and starts typing.
The phone is right next to the Fauxboule’s advertising plaque.
BOBBY'S eyes look up and see the word Fauxboules the picture of the silicone testicle and he reads the text that talks about the natural look and feel of the prosthetic testicles.
We see his face.
All the pieces are coming together. Waves of recognition are washing over him, he has no idea how, but he just now realizes that it is probably DR. BRIANA who gave him Fauxboules.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE FRIDAY MORNING
DR. BRIANA and BOBBY
DR. BRIANA
Is Buster all ready to go?
BOBBY
Yeah, I took up all his food and I don't think the boys fed him anything.
DR. BRIANA
Great we’ll take good care of him you should be able to pick him up by 4 o'clock this afternoon.
BOBBY
How else is this going to change him doc?
DR. BRIANA
What do you mean?
BOBBY
Well, will he still be able to run as fast or jump as high? Will he still want to chase the football?
DR. BRIANA looks at BOBBY and cocks her head.
BOBBY (CONTINUED)
Will he just want to stay home and raise puppies?
DR. BRIANA
I’ve never seen that happen in dogs. They usually don't have puppies after they’ve been neutered.
BOBBY
Yeah, I guess that's true but do they become like an uncle dog to their brother’s puppies?
DR. BRIANA
You know dogs are social creatures, but I can't think of an example of that happening.
BOBBY
I just want to know is it going to turn him into a bitch?
DR. BRIANA
Well not really.
BOBBY
I just don't want to see him turned into somebody’s bitch. I don't think I can do this. Come on Brutus let's go get you something to eat.
BOBBY gathers up the dog and put him on the floor. He looks back at DR. BRIANA and glares.
INT. VALERIE’S HOUSE
Phone call VALERIE and CLEO.
VALERIE
I don't know what's going on with him he’s totally changed. He was making these abstract paintings that everyone wanted to buy, busy as can be, doing great, and then all of a sudden, he's painting naked women. At first, he had these older women posing for him. No big deal but who would want to buy that, ya know? Then I see this painting of our babysitter show up. It's like porn. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do with that?
CLEO
Babysitter porn? Your babysitter posed nude for him?
VALERIE
Yeah, I'm sure he’s screwing her.
CLEO
Screwing her? How old is she?
VALERIE
I don't know, she can drive, she's a junior.
CLEO
A junior at state?
VALERIE
No Letona High.
CLEO
I'm sure he's just painting her, you probably have nothing to worry about.
VALERIE
Yeah but if he gets sent to jail because it’s a teenager, then I’ve got to find a new nanny.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOUSE
Phone conversation with DR. BRIANA and CLEO.
CLEO
How are you doing Mom?
DR. BRIANA
I'm good honey, just tired.
CLEO
What have you been doing?
DR. BRIANA
Oh, it's just I'm the only vet in town you know. The town’s not growing and there's not really enough work here for two vets but there's more work than one can look after. Then there are all the emergency calls. Some of those go on for days. Staying up round-the-clock with the sick ones. I’ll be fine, I'm just tired at the moment.
CLEO
Mom, you should get some help.
DR. BRIANA
Oh baby, it's not like your business. There are no trained veterinary nurses, and some of these patients I just can't leave. Anyway, how are you doing?
CLEO
I'm good. I was just talking to Valerie. She thinks Bobby is having an affair with the babysitter.
DR. BRIANA
You know I just saw him this morning. Couldn't bring himself to get his dog neutered.
CLEO
Valerie said something about him getting his manhood back. Is there something about middle aged men wanting to own stud dogs?
DR. BRIANA
I’ve seen this before, remember that first guy that wanted his dog to have Fauxboules? Sam always thought the guy had essentially been neutered by his wife and fake balls were symbolic of him trying to get them back.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S OFFICE,
In walks VALERIE dragging Brutus
VALERIE
I need you to cut this dog’s balls off. He’s is driving me crazy.
JILL
Is that Brutus? Has he eaten?
VALERIE
I don't know, what difference does it make?
JILL
Well they can get sick and puke right after surgery if they don't recover well.
VALERIE
Look I'll pay you extra if you have to clean up a mess. Just please get it done.
Out walks DR. BRIANA
DR. BRIANA
Hey, is that Brutus?
VALERIE
Yes, Bobby can't seem to bring himself to cut off the dog’s balls now that he's got his manhood back.
DR. BRIANA
Pardon me?
VALERIE
Yes, I don't know where this came from but for his midlife crisis he started painting naked ladies and screwing the babysitter and I guess he wants the dog to have his balls. I don't get it.
DR. BRIANA
The babysitter?
VALERIE
Yes. Little bitch.
DR. BRIANA
How do you know? Are you sure?
VALERIE
You should see the painting. It's like porn in oil paint and it's big. It's like in my face - look what I can do, look at what I'm doing, I'm doing the babysitter.
DR. BRIANA
Well that's not a story you here every day.
VALERIE
Yeah well, men in midlife. I don't know. Some backlash reaction to staying home and raising the kids I suppose, it just couldn't last forever.
INT. GROCERY STORE
BOBBY sees DR. BRIANA It's late in the evening
BOBBY looks at DR. BRIANA and squints his eyes, he's wondering how he can confront her about what she did to him.
DR. BRIANA looks at BOBBY she squints her eyes and judges him as a man who takes advantage of young girls.
They pull up next to one another shopping carts side-by-side and look at each other.
BOBBY
I guess you went ahead and did it?
DR. BRIANA
Valerie brought him in, it's really normal. I think you'll be happy with the results.
BOBBY
I'll probably have to get him testosterone therapy now, so he can chase a football.
DR. BRIANA
Most dogs that are neutered still chase balls, Bobby.
BOBBY
Well it's not like he can ever have a girlfriend now.
DR. BRIANA
The owners of male dogs are usually not the ones out in the Walmart parking lot trying to find homes or a bunch of crossbred puppies. It was the right thing to do.
BOBBY
You women, you just see yourselves as judge and jury, y'all know what's best. You think you've got all the answers.
BRIANA realizes for the first time that BOBBY has put it all together.
The look on her face changes from one of disgust to one of worry and defense, She hesitates between flight and fight.
Finally, she narrows her eyes sets her jaw and speaks.
DR. BRIANA
If you men could manage to keep calm and not force yourselves on your girlfriends or take advantage of every teenage babysitter that wags her tail, maybe you wouldn't be judged so harshly.
BOBBY
What are you talking about?
DR. BRIANA
I understand you've been painting Taylor Winters.
BOBBY
Yes, she was posing for me before she had to go back to school.
DR. BRIANA
I saw her yesterday, where do you think she went back to school?
BOBBY
Ames.
DR. BRIANA
She's goes to Letona High, she's a junior.
BOBBY looks at her realizing for the first time that his BABBYSITTER is a teenager
They stare at each other. They each know the others secret, they are locked in a stalemate.
EXT. FOOTBALL PRACTICE FIELD,
FRED is standing next to MARCUS who is now a volunteer coach.
MARCUS
These boys look like they have lost a bit of their aggressiveness.
FRED
I know. They don't look as fast either.
MARCUS
Wonder what's gotten into em.
FRED
It's more a question of what's not got into ‘em.
MARCUS
What are you talking about? They need some more Gatorade?
FRED
Well let's just say when DR. Steve was alive he helped us give these boys a little competitive advantage.
MARCUS
Dr. Steve? What kind of competitive advantage?
FRED
Just a little something to help a body grow.
MARCUS
He was injecting these kids with steroids?
FRED
No way man, we sprinkle it on the eggs.
INT. BOBBY'S PAINTING STUDIO
MARCUS has come over to see him.
BOBBY
You mean to tell me all the time we were playing they been feeding the whole football team growth hormones and steroids?
MARCUS
Something like that.
BOBBY
And it was Dr. Steve's idea?
MARCUS
Oh no I think it was our friend Fred. I got the distinct impression that Dr. Steve thought Fred was feeding it to his hogs.
BOBBY
No wonder we've never had a single player go on to be a college star. We've all fallen apart after leaving here.
MARCUS
I remember feeling really emotional after we got back from spring break our senior year. I wonder if we were having withdrawals from whatever they had us on.
BOBBY
I remember feeling so aggressive in high school. I’ve never been that way since. Not even now that I've got my life back in balance.
MARCUS
I think it's pretty jacked up to do that to these kids without them knowing, lot of people could get hurt like this.
BOBBY
I think a lot of people did get hurt.
INT. DR. BRIANA'S HOUSE
BOBBY knocks at the door DR. BRIANA opens the door and stares at him
BOBBY
Look what you did is inexcusable. It may be the most atrocious thing I've ever heard of a woman doing to a man.
DR. BRIANA
Men do pretty atrocious things to women all the time.
BOBBY
That doesn't make it right. I'm not here to forgive you but I think I understand what happened all those years ago and it really wasn’t my fault.
DR. BRIANA
It wasn't your fault? So I’m supposed to believe that the little high school girl you're painting pictures of isn’t your fault either?
BOBBY
First of all, I didn't know she's in high school and now that I do, I'm done with that. Second, Fred Jarvis has been giving growth hormones and steroids to every football player in this town for the past seventeen years.
DR. BRIANA
Oh my god. That's why he wants me to just give him the Melengestrol and Trenbolone.
BOBBY
The what?
DR. BRIANA
He's been after me to give him a couple of drugs. One's a growth hormone and the other's a steroid. They're both supposed to be administered by a veterinarian.
BOBBY
Well I just wanted you to know I'm not a bad guy, it wasn't all my fault.
INT. DR. BRIANA'S OFFICE
DR. BRIANA is in her private office on the phone
DR. BRIANA
Hey Fred how's it going?
FRED
Well I'm okay but I sure would like to get these young hogs back on track.
DR. BRIANA
Well this should cheer you up, I just called to tell you about a week-long conference in Vegas that's coming up about the use of anabolics and growth stimulants in feeder pigs. I thought we could both go.
FRED
Hot damn. Is Sam coming along?
DR. BRIANA
No, he's got too much work to do. I thought you and I could just go out there and party like drunken Shriners and maybe conduct a little science experiment while we’re at it.
INT. DR. BRIANA’S HOTEL ROOM.
DR. BRIANA opens up her suitcase she neatly lays out an auburn wig and a brand-new package of aquamarine make up. She sits down in front of the hotel room dressing table and begins to paint her face to be almost unrecognizable, certainly she is beautiful. with drawn on high butterfly style eyebrows with black pencil and long black tips on her eyeliner at the corners of her eyes that form the underside of the wing. she has outlined her lips with a dark red lipstick pencil and drawn them beyond the ridges of her lips making them appear almost like a cartoon heart, DR. BRIANA then slips from her bag package labeled dream queen machine. It’s a type of girdle with hips and buttock enhancing pads giving her a full-figured appearance. She then slips on the enormous padded push up bra and slithers into a neatly tailored green dress, she appears to be 40 pounds heavier than her normal weight. For the finishing touch she puts on a long wavy auburn wig. She has transformed herself into a different person. And yet she simply looks like a middle-aged woman in Las Vegas on a business trip DR. BRIANA takes the elevator down.
In the lobby she faces the mirror almost appears to be stunned by what she sees and yet a please expression comes over her face and then she looks nervous. How on earth is she going to manage to hire the help that she needs.
DR. BRIANA returns to her room, she takes out a handful of the cards that she was given on the street advertising private dancers.
SYLVIA MARTINEZ, hired helper, AKA (prostitute), independent, smart, attractive, but you can tell she has been through a lot.
SYLVIA
Meet me at the food court. There's a Peter’s Pretzels at City Center Mall. I'm wearing a blue skirt and a yellow tank top and I have red hair.
DR. BRIANA
Perfect.
SYLVIA
What are you wearing?
DR. BRIANA
I'm wearing a green dress. You can't miss me.
SYLVIA
How do I know you're not a cop?
DR. BRIANA
How do I know you're not a cop?
SYLVIA
Well I ain't one and the law requires that you identify yourself as a cop if I ask you if your cop. Are you a cop?
DR. BRIANA
I am not a cop. I’m looking for someone to be a friend to my friend. What I mean by that is, just make sure he has a good time. Take em out drinking, you know. If something more happens between you two well that's the personal nature of your business and has nothing to do with what I'm asking you to do, or what I'm paying you to do.
SYLVIA
Lady, if you're actually a lady, I get paid to do a lot of freaky things in this town. You just tell me what you want me to do and give me the cash.
DR. BRIANA
What I was really hoping for was just to find two trustworthy young ladies that can take my friend and show him a really good time, make sure that he ends up relaxed and sound asleep and gets a good night’s rest.
SYLVIA
I've got a friend.
DR. BRIANA
What’s your friend look like? Can your friend join us?
SYLVIA
Let me give her a call see if she's available. She’s a young, redhead. Two redheads, that be okay?
DR. BRIANA
Are you sure she's pretty? Are you pretty?
SYLVIA
If I were really pretty lady, I wouldn't be in this business on the other hand if I wasn't pretty I wouldn't be in this business.
There’s a slight pause
Yes, my friends pretty, I think she's prettier than I am, well she's more well-endowed. That's why her uncle started following her around when she was 12. I didn't have to deal with that crap till I turned 17.
DR. BRIANA
I'm so sorry. Look, all I'm asking you to do show my friend the good time. In fact, I would prefer it if you didn't actually, you know.
SYLVIA
Don't worry we're clean we're not going to give your boyfriend the cooties or the crabs or the clap or whatever it is you I think that we carry. We're clean, we just do this because it pays well and there's nothing else we can do to make this kind of money. It's not like we had the chance to go to college or anything.
DR. BRIANA
Okay then. Just to make sure he drinks enough that he passes out and let him dream about what he does with you girls.
SYLVIA
It's all the same to me, you're the boss.
DR. BRIANA
OK I will see you in half an hour.
The two redheads definitely don't look like your average tourist sitting at the two-top table nearest Peter’s Pretzels
DR. BRIANA stops from a distance and contemplates what she's about to do. The girl’s clothes are clearly chosen to advertise their profession. Otherwise only 16-year-olds would dress like this. the one with the light red hair has on a yellow tube top and her blue mini skirt has a metallic thread in the fabric that makes it sparkle
The young lady with the auburn hair and large breast is wearing white, it's basically see through. her bra is clearly red or maroon, DR. BRIANA feels certain she'll be able to tell what color underwear she's wearing when she stands up.
DR. BRIANA walked past the table and up to Peter’s Pretzels counter.
DR. BRIANA
May I have the Peter Eater Pretzel Bites please?
DR. BRIANA says to the OVERWEIGHT YOUNG LADY working behind the counter
“OVERWEIGHT YOUNG LADY”
Do you want garlic or barbecue?
DR. BRIANA looks confused
Dipping sauce.
the young lady says for clarity
DR. BRIANA
Do you have any plain mustard?
“OVERWEIGHT YOUNG LADY”
No. We have garlic.
DR. BRIANA
You keep the sauce, I'm good.
The sad young lady hands her a small cardboard box filled with a dozen short chunks of pretzel.
DR. BRIANA takes a deep breath.
A slight look of surprise comes over the Peter Pretzel girl’s face.
DR. BRIANA exhales and turns on her heel and she walks toward the table where the two young ladies are seated, we see for the first time her swing her hips. She is in full character. She is stunningly beautiful - at once like a middle-aged businesswoman and simultaneously glamorous like a full-grown movie star/Drag queen.
She sets the cardboard box on the table and says in a sweet southern drawl.
DR. BRIANA
How you girls doin‘?
The younger one wearing white grabs a chunk of pretzel and pushes the carton across the table.
RAMONA MCCOY, 30s, attractive, soft, round, curvy, the hair color is part of the advertising
ROMONA
Where's the dippin sauce?
DR. BRIANA
I'm trying to watch my figure. Do you need me to go back and get you some?
SYLVIA
Never mind that. How are we supposed to find this guy? Are you going to introduce us to him?
DR. BRIANA
No, I’m afraid that would be really awkward given what we're trying to accomplish here. Here is a picture of him.
She shows both girls the screen of her phone.
SYLVIA
Can you text me that?
DR. BRIANA
I don't think that would be a good idea. Let's try and keep this whole transaction without any electronic fingerprints, OK?
SYLVIA takes a picture of DR. BRIANA’S phone
SYLVIA
That won’t leave a data trail. We see a lot of dudes and they all start to look alike. We got to have a photo.
DR. BRIANA
He staying at the Pirate Ship and he likes to play blackjack. His name is Fred. He's from Iowa and he's a very successful pig farmer.
ROMONA
He looks like my uncle. I'm not too excited about this.
DR. BRIANA
I understand.
She starts to get up from the table.
ROMONA
No, I can do it, you said we didn't have to you know.
DR. BRIANA
Ladies I care about this guy, but I'm into someone else. He's been coming on to me pretty hard and if you girls could just distract him this first night we're here, I won't have to spend the rest of the week fending him off. Like I said, I just want him to think he had the time of his life. Break this open and put it in whatever he's drinking when you get back to his room.
ROMONA
Is that a roofi?
DR. BRIANA
No. It's just a sleeping pill. But combined with alcohol it’ll knock you out cold.
SYLVIA
OK so you're going to pay us 250 now and 250 more when we bring you back the room key?
DR. BRIANA
Correct.
ROMONA
What if we have to buy him drinks? Will you pay us back?
Asked the auburn-haired girl.
DR. BRIANA
Yes of course, just bring me the receipts.
ROMONA
Receipts? Nobody going to give us no receipts.
DR. BRIANA
Remember you two are here for a convention. You know cosmetology.
ROMONA
I tried to study cosmetology at Vo-Tech. I could never do that.
DR. BRIANA
You just have to say that's why you're here. Do you have a better idea?
ROMONA
Let's tell him we're stockbrokers. We could be stockbrokers.
SYLVIA
Yeah, I've been thinking about being a stockbroker after I give this up. My stockbroker has made me a lot of money and I can talk that shit way better than I can talk hair and nails.
DR. BRIANA
OK stockbrokers it is. Do you think you might want to change clothes?
ROMONA
This is exactly how I dress to go see my stockbroker. It helps to keep him focused on my account. It's the little old ladies to get shuffled off into that Madoff shit.
DR. BRIANA
I think we should take a walk through this Nordstrom right here on our way back to the Pirate Ship. Maybe there's a nice jacket or some sort that could enhance the illusion.
SYLVIA
OK but we're gonna need some cash before we spend any more time with you. You know the clock is ticking. We each could've been paid once by now.
DR. BRIANA
Ok we're going shopping, how about I hand you the cash in the dressing room?
The three of them walk across the food court hips swing almost as though they are synchronized. DR. BRIANA almost seems to have relaxed.
DR. BRIANA walks up to the Autumn sale rack, she pulls out a long black blazer from size 14 and hands it to the busty girl in white. RAMONA gives her friend SYLVIA then give Dr. BRIANA and incredulous look.
DR. BRIANA
Just try it on please.
The jacket is actually longer than her white miniskirt and when buttoned we can no longer see the color of her underwear.
SYLVIA
Damn girl that's sexy. It's got a little of that I'm wearing my boyfriend shirt and nothing else thing going on.
ROMONA
Really? Let me look in the mirror.
She's rather striking then she unbuttons the bottom button and flashes out a leg,
the miniskirt rides up and almost reveals her red underwear.
ROMONA
I think this will be very effective. You may know what you're doing after all.
From the size 6 rack DR. BRIANA has pulled out a bright green jacket with a similar tapered cut and hands it to SYLVIA.
They make a handsome pair one in black-and-white and a hint or red, the other in the full spectrum of the color wheel
DR. BRIANA hands them enough cash to pay for the two jackets and the down payment for the agreed-upon services.
If you girls keep the receipts they will probably let you bring those things back in a few hours for some store credit.
ROMONA
Show me the photo of Frank again?
DR. BRIANA
It's Fred, Fred Jarvis. I want you to take a photograph of him and show it to me when you bring me back the room key. In fact, I think I'll hang onto these receipts. I'll give them to you as a bonus once you’ve proven to me that you have the right fellow.
ROMONA
Let me take a picture of your phone too.
DR. BRIANA hands her phone to RAMONA who snaps a photo.
SYLVIA
How about this we’ll take a selfie once we buy our first round of drinks. Then Ramona can call you to meet in the lady’s room and show you the picture to make sure we get the right guy. Sound good?
DR. BRIANA
You girls are very clever. That’s perfect. I will choose a blackjack table 2 tables to the left of where FRED is sitting. Will that help?
ROMONA
Maybe. Unless he's sitting all the way on the left side.
SYLVIA
Let's all just walk over together.
DR. BRIANA
If he sees us together he’ll freeze up, won't take an interest in you girls. I'll send him a text right now and find out exactly where he is, and I'll tell him I'm not feeling well and that I'm going to stay in all night. I'll go in front of you ladies then one of you can follow me to the slot machines by the lady’s room and the other can go sit down by Fred.
SYLVIA
I won't move, ‘till Ramona comes back with the selfie.
ROMONA
Now we’re talking, this is fun. I feel like a spy.
DR. BRIANA
OK, you girls ready?
SYLVIA
I think so. I could talk about real estate investment trust and hedge funds till the cows come home quite frankly. My favorite thing is small market Capp Stocks. There's a whole suite of 3-D manufacturing companies that are set to displace fortune 500 blue-chip manufacturing over the next 15 years.
DR. BRIANA
Very good ladies. I should like to come away with some stock tips from the two of you
SYLVIA sits down on FRED'S left
Her jacket has fallen open revealing her tank top. Fred smiles and looks up to meet SYLVIA'S eyes.
SYLVIA
You having any luck?
She asks with a smile.
RAMONA sits down in the empty chair on SYLVIA'S left she's busting out of her jacket.
FRED
I think my luck just changed.
FRED says smiling from ear to ear.
The next thing we see the three of them are standing at the bar one on each side of FRED, with their arms around him.
ROMONA
Let me get a selfie! Squeeze in!
She whips out her phone.
And the girls each put their head up against FRED'S.
The flash goes off.
Let's do another.
and holding out the camera she turns and kisses FRED on the cheek SYLVIA follows her lead and FRED smiles in disbelief.
ROMONA
I gotta pee, order me another one.
RAMONA says as she high heel shuffle runs while pulling her skirt down after slipping off the barstool.
FRED can't help but watch her go.
SYLVIA
I've got to go too, but I hate public restrooms. We're staying across the street but it's such a pain in the ass to get over there.
FRED
I'm staying here, you can come up to my room if you want.
SYLVIA
That would be great! You got anything to drink in your room or should we get this next round to go?
Meanwhile RAMONA has shown DR. BRIANA the photo of her and SYLVIA and FRED, staying in character.
DR. BRIANA
He looks like he's having a wonderful time. Thank you, girls, for taking care of him.
RAMONA returns to FRED and SYLVIA just as their next round of drinks are being placed on the bar. FRED signs the tab
FRED
Shall we?
ROMONA
Where we going?
SYLVIA
Fred's going to let me use his facilities. You know how I hate public restrooms.
ROMONA
Well, all right then.
FRED unlocks the door and holds it open for the two girls.
RAMONA takes the drink out of his hand and set it on the counter by the television.
She sits hers on top of the TV and puts her hands around FRED'S neck and pulls him into a kiss. She walks backwards and sits down on the end of the bed pulling him on top of her. SYLVIA runs her hand up his back and says
SYLVIA
You two wait on me I'll only be a second.
She grabs FRED'S drink and steps into the bathroom.
While she's seated on the toilet she empties the capsule into the amber liquid.
She looks around the corner and sees that FRED is completely distracted by RAMONA.
SYLVIA starts undressing completely, first she lays the green jacket neatly on the counter then she starts tossing the rest of her clothes onto the floor between the two beds. FRED looks up Just as she steps out of her last discarded undergarment. She standing there, wonder woman style with a drink in each hand and still wearing her high heels. FRED gets up and moves toward her.
SYLVIA
I'd like to see you on your knees
she says and he complies.
SYLVIA
Drink this first. I like everything to be numb and cold to start with so that I can feel the heat better at the end.
FRED downs the entire drink.
RAMONA has walked around the bed and has come up behind SYLVIA she slowly stretches out her arms making it look as though SYLVIA has four arms like an Indian goddess. She raises them toward the ceiling and waves her arms back and four and ends by wrapping them around SYLVIA'S belly.
She leans her head out from behind SYLVIA'S hair and asks
ROMONA
Would you like for us to put on a show?
FRED nods in agreement; he is speechless.
SYLVIA
Let's make him comfortable.
SYLVIA says taking the empty glass from his hand.
She gives him the other arm and leads him to lie back on the bed they each take off one of his shoes and straighten his legs.
He is clearly aroused.
The girls dial through the radio channels until we hear a piece of orchestral music.
They place themselves at the end of the bed and begin to dance ballroom style. SYLVIA completely naked RAMONA still wearing her jacket, FRED is smiling from ear to ear.
The girls are lost in their dance as they twirl around the cramped hotel room when the music comes to an end they look at each other with great tenderness then they both look over to see FRED sound asleep on his pile of pillows.
They look back to one another and SYLVIA takes RAMONA’S face in her hands and kisses her with affection. RAMONA’S hands slide up the back of SYLVIA’S neck returning the amorous gesture.
RAMONA then takes SYLVIA by the hand and says,
ROMONA
Mission accomplished. Let's get out of here and celebrate.
SYLVIA quickly dresses and RAMONA clearly enjoys watching her
The two ladies almost leap onto the stools of the slot machines on either side of DR. BRIANA.
SYLVIA
I can't wait to hear what he thinks happened tonight.
ROMONA
Don't you know it. He's going to be telling this story to all his buddies when he gets back home.
DR. BRIANA
So, what happened?
SYLVIA
Nothing. Everything went according to plan.
She hands DR. BRIANA FRED'S room key. DR. BRIANA pulls out the cash owed and hands it to SYLVIA.
DR. BRIANA
Thank you, ladies. Have a great rest of your trip.
SYLVIA
Pleasure doing business with you lady. Hope he makes you happy.
DR. BRIANA makes her way across the casino floor to the elevators keeping in character with her hips swaying.
When the doors open we watch her walk down the hall alone. She is all business. The character has fallen away and the strong athletic independent woman walks with determination toward the task at hand.
When she reaches her room, she pulls her suitcase up onto the bed, pulls out what appears to be a black doctors kit. She unfolds a cloth containing medical instruments including forceps scalpels and two syringes.
She reaches back into the bag and pulls out a brown bottle places needle onto the syringe and draws the yellow fluid into the cylinder. She puts the cap back on the needle lays it neatly next to the other instruments rolls the cloth back up and ties the string, she places it back in the black bag and places the black bag back into her suitcase. She then sits it on the floor and extends the rolling handle and walks out of her room with the suitcase trailing behind her.
She's back in character now hips swinging aware that she might be on camera. She takes the elevator down to FRED'S floor, she smiles at the other passengers on the elevator. She walks to his room, she places the key in the door. The light turns green, she turns to handle the door cracks open and she smiles.
Fin
I would like to thank
Olivia McKown
Madeline McKown
Ashley Lay
Sophia Beattie
Erinn Gavaghan
Douglas Elder
Liz McKown
Sue Schofield
David Price
This group made countless contributions to this project including co-writing, editing, encouragement, carpentry and most importantly modeling for this cast of characters, thank you all sincerely.